March 10th, 2009by Apathy
Tonight i’m going to truely give in to this stupid cycle of misery and i’m going to make it end.
I’ve planned it well i beleave no one suspects i’m going to do it, i saw a counselor and i lied to him and chickened out of the help i know i need, walking into his office i felt so sure that he could fix me, help me but then i knew that no one could fix me so i lied and made out it wasn’t as bad as it seemed ironically he asked if i had a plan or some method, i said no while thinking yes. I get drunk as hell, cut my rists, take several panadol tabletsÂ and go for a Joy ride in a car eventually passing out and having a high speed car accident thus ending my pathetic existance
this will be my end.
Why i’ve come to this?
I’ve managed to push away everyone that i held dear, i still love them but i’ve made sure they don’t have any feelings for me. I don’t want them to cry for me or feel any misery i just to die and end this eternal war in my head with the only casuality been me and my sanity i feel i can gain nothing anymore.
I wasn’t made for this world i was ment to die before i was even born God made a capital mistake when he gave my parents me and now i’ll pay for his mistake and go straight to hell where filth like me deserve to be.
My life will end tonight as i drive my self into destruction i can only grip the one small thing and break it between my thumb and finger just like i’m a broken soul, there will be no God Or Heaven for me. I Am Going To Die.