A Peaceful Death

April 21st, 2009 by IHML

I’ve been depressed and suicidal for many years. My desire to accomplish some of the goals that I have in life is the only thing that is keeping me alive. Experiencing a peaceful death is one of the goals that I have. It is a privilege that very few people that are suicidal get to experience. I spent a lot of time searching the internet for pro-suicide websites. I was trying to find a forum where I could have discussions with people like Philip Nitschke and Boudewijn Chabot. I wanted to have a discussion about the idea of creating a suicide service that provided peaceful deaths for anyone that is suffering from extreme physical or emotional pain. I decided to put this entry on this website because of the high probability that some people would be interested in the idea.

I don’t believe that a suicidal person should have to experience negative emotions like fear, anger, and sadness during their final moments. If you are living in a country like the U.S.A then you are probably lucky enough to be in a position to buy a gun legally. Most of you are probably aware of the fact that a bullet to head is the best way to go. The death will always be quick and painless if the gun is positioned in the right place. There are many people in the world that don’t have easy access to guns. Some people have to experience the terror of falling to their death (or injury) from a bridge or a building. Some people have to experience the sadness of slowly drifting into unconsciousness after they’ve severed an artery or swallowed some pills. A person with a gun might experience some fear, sadness, or anger before they pull the trigger, but once they pull it the death process is over in less than a second.

Boudewijn Chabot is one of the few psychiatrists that believes suicide is an appropriate treatment for some people that are suffering from depression. I was very pleased to learn that there are some psychiatrists in the world that are willing to deviate from the conventional way of treating depressed patients. It is my opinion that conventional treatments like ECT, antidepressants, and talk therapies are poor treatments for severely depressed patients. Conventional treatments can be affective from some people, but it is not a cure. I would really like some psychiatrist to focus on the idea of helping their depressed patients end their lives in a peaceful way.

This is a general idea of the service that I would like to use for a reasonable price.

A list of rules to determine if a person can use the service

1. Mandatory psychiatric evaluations for anyone that wants to use the service.

2. Patients that are terminally ill or suffering from extreme physical pain should have immediate access to the service after the psych evaluation.

3. Minors should have to get permission from a parent or guardian to use the service.

4. Minors should not be permitted to use the service if they are only suffering from depression.

5. Adults that are only suffering from depression should have to undergo one year of treatment (antidepressant and talk therapy) before they can use the service.

6. Adults that have received at least one year of treatment (antidepressant and talk therapy) and have been used at least two different antidepressants prior to requesting the service should have immediate access to the service after the psych evaluation.

The person could then make an appointment after they have been approved for the service. The death could take place in a room where the person would have access to various things like a comfortable chair, a large television, and a good sound system with a large variety of music. Depressive narcotics like heroin or alcohol could also be given to the person to calm their nerves. The person would then initiate the death process by pushing a button. The machine that causes the death should be something that instantly stops all of the electrical activity in the brain. It could be something like a TMS machine or an apparatus that would have the same effect of a large caliber bullet entering the brain.

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14 Responses to “A Peaceful Death”

Most recent comments shown, ordered chronologically on the page.

  1. That is awesome! But what about those not depressed? I’ve been in therapy and I’m told that I’m not depressed. (I never thought I was) There is nothing wrong with me! I just want to die. Wow, I sound crazy…

    Where did you get this information could you tell me the site or something?
    E-mail: Sirachick@hotmail.com

    I’m not sure I agree with it all completely, some people take 3 years to cope, and then they’re fine, but I’m really liking the idea.

  2. I gotta admit, it’s a good idea, yet its just really fucked up. It will never work out, suicide is actually against the law and the government will never let it happen. I am actually frustrated after reading this. We come here for help, not to find a way to die. What the hell man? Well some want to die, and when I see shit like this it makes me wanna live, even though death would be nice.

    Well i’m just a depressed person, so I wouldn’t apply. All this is going to do if it all goes through is make the world worse. I could lose a friend!

    I just think the whole thing is fucked up and i’m disturbed to know people out there are actually thinking up of some sick minded idea.

  3. I agree with Madmax and am so glad he says he wants to live after reading this incredibly small minded and utterly selfish piece. In September my mum took her own life, she brought me up as a single teenage mum and made my life as amazing as she possibly could. She went back to school, achieved a business degree and got a great job helping small nurseries improve their business and the standard of child care. She was a beautiful, intelligent, creative, funny, loving and much loved woman…my heroine and inspiration. She also suffered varying degrees of depression throughout her life and tragically last summer had a nervous breakdown – sadly due to the stress of her job and bullying in it. She sought help from her doctor, was prescribed anti-depressants and given counselling, after a few weeks treatment was not helping – due to the disgracefully poor mental health facilities where we live.

    After six weeks and a short stay in hospital she was brought home, she seemed to be getting better, and then on Wednesday 24th September I returned home late from work and found her hanging from her bedroom door. Mercifully she had made it so I couldn’t get into the room but was able to push the door enough to cut the belt from the dressing gown I had bought her for Christmas around her neck, paramedics and police arrived and broke down the door…she was dead.

    In those few minutes my whole life changed forever…I lost my beautiful mum, my best friend. I had to leave our home as I couldn’t stay in the same house she had died; I even had to give our cat that we had for 18 years – since I was two years old to an animal shelter. My Nan and granddad lost their daughter, my aunts and uncles their sister and best friend, my cousins their beloved aunty and her friends their wonderful friend, the world lost a bright star…with so much to live for and so much more to give…she was 37 years old.

    The day after my mum’s funeral, my cousin went home and hung himself in his garage, not note, no indication we had no clue…he was just 21 years old. Why my cousin took his life we will never know…was he deeply depressed and we just never knew? Was he influenced by my mum? I haven’t a clue. My mum was very ill by the time she took her decision, but all the time I think to myself….what if she had just thought differently? What if she thought sod the bullies…sod the job…it doesn’t matter! I understand why my mum took her life; she couldn’t take the pain anymore but what if? If she had more treatment, what if she had met the man of her dreams a few weeks later? She could have just left her job and started again…achieved her dream of helping in orphanages in Africa.
    Please don’t think I don’t understand what it’s like to be depressed, I was bullied throughout school and have been through abusive relationships and suffered anxiety attacks…and that’s before all this happened. But if you just looked at life in a positive view, things always change…they NEVER stay the same, nothing in this world ever does.

    If anyone had the excuse to commit suicide it was me and trust me I’ve thought about it many times in the last seven months…often I shout out to my mum and threaten to do the same just to be with her again. My life was over and at the time, though I was completely numb and in shock…think of a zombie and that’s how I functioned….

    But I have since met, fell in love and moved in with the most amazing man whose love and support have brought sunshine back into my life. I still have dark days…sometimes the pain is too much to bear. A few hours ago I was shaking in hysterical tears, trying to do a Ouija board to talk to my mum just one more time…now I’m sat here holding her jumper…trying to get the last little part that still smells of her. I’d give anything to see her, hug her and tell her it’s all ok and she didn’t have to do it. Knowing she will never be around when I get married, buy a home, have babies as she so wanted me shatters my heart, and there are times just like a few hours ago when I think about taking my life too….now I’m sat here trying to help you, determined to make my mum proud and live out her dreams for her.
    And do you know what I don’t want to die….for a start she would seriously kick my ass once I got up there with her, and because there is so much beauty, love and happiness in this world…you just have to find your own, grab it and don’t let it go. There will be some awful times and there will be some amazing times….I know though they had their dark days my mum and Danny had amazing days too.
    What I’m trying to make you all see is that you are not alone…darkness comes and it goes, don’t let it beat you, however hard it gets, it won’t last….try with all your mite to see the positive side….nothing is so terrible that you give your life to it…you are lucky to have it….cherish it…nurture it and it will give back to you.
    Take care beautiful people….sunshine follows the rain

    Kay x

  4. Madmax, you are probably right. You won’t be seeing a suicide service in countries like the U.S.A, Canada, or the UK anytime soon, but the same thing cannot be said for countries like Belgium, the Netherlands, and Switzerland. I don’t think that people should have to travel to another country just so they can have the privilege of experiencing a peaceful death.

    I don’t see how my idea could possibly make the world worse. I wouldn’t be on this website if we weren’t living in a world of misery. We are living in a culture of misery. The global suicide rates would be much higher if fewer people had the coping mechanisms to deal with the physical and psychological pain in their lives. Unfortunately there are many people like myself in the world that do not possess the coping mechanisms to function properly in our culture of misery. What are people like me suppose to do? Come to suicideproject.org and complain about our problems? I am not going to waste my time telling you why I am depressed, but I will say that people like me do not have enough options in life. Our society could at least give people like me the option of paying for a peaceful death.

  5. KAY, beautiful words, so sorry with what happened to you, but you made me realize that life is worth living. i couldnt imagine my mom or anybody in that matter doing that to themselves and me not wanting to do the same, you should carry on your message to your country and to the world, it will help alot of people. godbless you.

  6. Well IHML, I don’t cope well either, I break, throw, crush things, but I guess since I have the belife that God just might be real, I hold the fear of hell. it’s said if you kill yourself, you do not get into heaven. I assume alot of us probably don’t belive in God. At times I feel hopeless, depressed, frustrated, i feel as if i have no meaning and i have nothing unique about me at all. it’s a long story on why I feel this way, to understand you would have to get to know me.

    That takes too long, mainly because I have no patience.

  7. Look people can i paint a scenario that may provoke positive thought on this whole issue…..6 months ago i was very suicidal and not for the first time in my life. During this period it was like a dark heavy cloud surrounded my every thought and motion…i could barely sleep…barely eat…i had racing thoughts of anxiety, panic , fear and started to become fascinated with thoughts of death….again!
    At approx 1,am on a morning in december last year i walked into my garden shed drunk and very disorientated it was cold as hell and pitch black, i took the belt off my jeans and wrapped it around my neck and look up at the wooden beams above my head………..then froze!

    I couldnt go through with it and i was deeply, deeply upset….i sat down and cried, all alone ………i managed to get myself back into the house and fell asleep…

    Later that morning when i woke up, i washed had breakfast and went for a walk in the park, it was a crisp and cold but beatifully sunny day in december…i could feel the sunlight breaking through the trees and onto my face, it felt as though it was burning away the darkness in my soul, i looked at my hands, my legs and feet as i walked on along the pathway. I listened to my breathing, my footsteps and could feel my heart beat….i plugged my earphones into my personal stereo, a song was playing on the radio that i will never forget ( NATURES LAW BY A BAND CALLED EMBRACE…PLEASE LISTEN TO IT ON YOU TUBE) i gasped as i looked at the beauty around me and felt my energy lift me …i remember smiling and looking above and thanking the heavens……I WAS ALIVE!

    HOLD ON BE STRONG!

    From then to now i embarked on a consious decision to start a journey of self healing without counselling or drugs….FIVE MONTHS LATER HERE IAM TODAY WRITING THIS TO YOU!
    Its amazing…..we are all amazing….

    LIVE!!!!!

  8. Our society’s approach to suicide is to make it illegal. You only get arrested if you are incompetent.

    Our families tell us we are selfish. How can they know our pain?

    I am an older, orphaned, male who has lost two of his four children. I’ve been married twice and in both cases the “love” turned. Except for a recent relationship (quote, unquote) with someone less than half my age, I’ve not had the caring touch of another human being for more than six years. My psychiatrist has (as near as I can understand) told me it is not normal for a person (male or female) my age to be without some kind of love. I’ve been in therapy for almost three years after my last relationship and thoughts of suicide, and most of my sessions involve discussions of the teachings of the Buddha.

    Suicide is not for everyone. But not everyone feels the pain of those who resort to such a final act. No offense, but who the hell are you, or anyone else to make me feel even more inadequate just because I have reached my limit?

    So what is the answer? COMPASSION. There is no other response. If you must do something, hold us as we take that last breath. Tell us we will be missed, BUT DON’T GIVE US NO GOD DAMN GUILT TRIP as we finally seek to attain peace.

    Our decisions are not about you–they are about whether we can or want to deal with the natural pain of life. Some of us feel more pain than others.

    If you are Christian, remember God told Job he would not give him more pain than Job could handle.

    If you are Buddhist, remember the Buddha recognized the pain that led certain of his followers to end their own suffering.

    If you are a physician, have you felt the kind of pain experienced by your patient?

    And if you are a former lover, go in peace, this is not about you, it is about me.

    Om mane padme hung.

  9. I think suicide is a normal desire, for anyone who is sensitive. This world and our communities are made up of people, ordinary people who are generally not that sensitive. I think I realized that ending my life was a reasonable desire around the age of 17. (I am now 43). I have spent almost 30 years trying to reconcile this feeling but have not been able to truly change how I feel. I have been to many councillors and doctors and found their views very limiting. It really does not help much to talk with these people. I have read many spiritual books and philosophies – no real change of my feelings. I am even seeing a touch therapist to try to move all the negative emotions I have stored in my body (apparently subconscious energy that is stored in my bodily tissues, carried with me all my life) So now I am trying to feel happy through energy work….. I am sensitive to negative energy and it is all around me, most of the time. Livinig in society is a very negative experience…. all of the cruel, dishonest, and domineering people force their views and energy onto others. Many forms of relationships can be destructive to the human soul. Solitude is really the only true peace, while at the same time extremely lonely.

    So, in fact I think it is appropriate for society to provide a means for sensitive, caring people to opt out. To be able to leave this world by choice, when the time is right and when it feels that all our efforts have been exhausted. Why not? It is a service that I would use, when I felt ready. It would be a very beautiful day, with lots of birds singing, and warm sunshine on my skin….. I think that should be my reward for enduring human cruelty.

  10. Is there anyone in the Philippines who do that sort of thing?

    I’ve been on and off about it, but I know it’ll eventually happen.

    Might as well.

  11. Lisa,
    Sensitive person is normal to be creative, caring and helping. Only if caring too much shall bring negative feedback, soon after may have the thought of suicide. Suicide is no way normal to a sensitive person.
    Only when we cry out loud in the name of injustice, and that may lead to our doom. But are we fair or too stupid to sacrifice our caring to the unneeded? But caring is my nature! Then mind yourself first, prove to yourself, see if you can do wonders for your own.

    There are different kinds of people out there
    1/ solving the undefined world, like the Einstein, or the psychics or mediums.
    2/ solving the defined world, like most doctors, lawyers, or analysts to any corporate.

    They are all in a profession.

    What I think got me in no position at all, because I believe problem solving shouldn’t be restricted in the world defined or undefined, sometimes either one or both worlds may be in play too.

    If I am to be defined, I am like a humble usher in a cinema. I can tell you which entrance door to go in and the specific seat you are for. And no magic involved.
    sometimes the film-roller conductor has to go for a leak, and I have to help keeping watch too.

    It’s just sad to see people seeing a film they are not intended for.
    play_with_sai at hotmail.com

  12. I seriously agree with you. Why must we live? We had no choice in being born in to this world!

  13. IHML,

    Two years have passed. Are you still alive? I googled “peaceful suicide” and found your post. Your idea of a dignified suicide is similar to the suicide that was portrayed in the film “Soylent Green”. Since I saw that film as a young girl, that scene stuck with me. I do know of a painful way to die, and I’m seriously considering doing it. To make it more of a passing over ritual would be difficult – with depression and crippling fatigue comes apathy. But, I do want to make the way I leave this earth more gentle, even if it just means playing my favorite Bach concerto, having photos of my loved ones (alive and dead) near by, a glass of wine, and two reese’s peanut butter cups… If you can personally email me, I”d love to talk with you.

  14. I would love to pay some1 and have a peaceful death. I have tried sleeping pills with ibuprofin but it did not work and i was found. Even though i did not get to the hospital until 24 hrs later i am still here. And now i can’t buy a gun. I guess i can try to buy one.

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