Hopeless:
April 24th, 2009 by MadmaxEveryday I wake up, upset at the new day. I hate school and I sometimes don’t care much so I sleep through class. I’m 16 and in 10th grade, and I know I shouldn’t worry about it, but I fear i’ll never find love. Everybody goes around claiming they are in love, but it turns out their men beat them or they just feel like saying it but have no idea what love really is. At night is when I am most depressed, I lay in bed and just imagine what it would be like to be held by someone, the warmth inside of knowing somebody cares. I will fall in love and always be dissapointed, the last time i was in love, it turned out the girl was lieing to herself and never loved me. She just made herself think she loved me. Whenever a girl knows I have feelings for her, they always love to take advantage of that. They love to hurt me and play with my feelings.
I have cut my wrist before, I drink whenever I can, I eat sometimes from boredom or depression, and the only healthy coping skill I have is the bass guitar. My own hobbies upset me, I feel as if there is nothing unique about me and I stress myself to be perfect all the time.
I’m not the most suicidal person here, but there is alot to me for anybody to understand why I feel like this. I’ve been in-and-out of various shelters, my dad was abusive, i weigh too much for my own liking, im ugly, never have much money, and I never have any friends. I just want to find that special girl because in the long run, to me thats all that I care about. To be loved, adored, cherrished, and to do the same to her. If thats not worth living for… what is?
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April 24th, 2009 at 8:42 pm
Don’t give up just yet, please? I’m the same age as you and I feel the exact same way to be honest with you. I despise school and I feel lonely most of the time. I eat excessively but I have a really fast metabolism so it doesn’t really effect me but I have all the horrible coping habits such as yourself. I can honestly say I relate to you minus the being a guy part. My names Alexis, by the way.
I’d really like to talk to you…if you ever wanted to that is. I don’t judge and I always respond back. If you’re just looking for a friend please feel free to email me.
email: harber_a@yahoo.com
and I can give you my AIM later if you would like it.
But please hang in there, I’m trying to hang in there…maybe we can do it together.
Hope to hear from you soon.
April 24th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
ppl rarely find luv. Luv finds them. don look 4 luv. no wasting time. i hate gurls who take advantage of guys. thy bad 4 gurls ovr all image. n how can a gurl lie to herself bout love? u feel or dont. most ppl dont feel special, no need 2 worry. cutting is bad. but u no dat. lots of ppl thnk thy ugly, u prob not bad.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:11 am
My name is Hannah. I understand how you feel. I was neglected and abused when I was younger. And, even though I have a girlfriend, I don’t think she really, truly loves me. I may be wrong. I’d normally say not to give up yet. But I already have so I won’t say that. I know I’m not really helping much. But I’m not feeling to good right now. Maybe it’s because I’d overdosed on pills a couple of days ago. And now there taking affect (probably not). Or I just have a cold/depression.
E-mail: hannahwaldron25@yahoo.com
I’m only giving you this because I have no friends either. Or maybe 2 friends. And that I can probably help you once I’m thinking clearly. Hope to hear from you soon.
April 25th, 2009 at 12:29 am
If all you want in life is to be loved, then you will get it. I promise.
Because every person in the whole world has one dream, one goal that they set out their entire lives to accomplish. And if that is yours, then I guarantee you that you will get it someday. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day you will.
I’m waiting for that day, too.
We can wait together.
April 25th, 2009 at 11:44 pm
My depression started in 10th grade too. Except an unofficial relation ended for me. I lost to myself. I was so scared that I wasn’t making her happy enough. I often questioned myself, wondering if maybe she was happier with her friends. I spent 4 years trying to get over her and after 6 I finally got over her, but my depression is still at full throttle. I think that if you want to change to be a better you, you have to want that change.
I had the exact same mindset as you, that love is the only thing worth living for. I was ready to dedicate my whole life to this girl, and my mind messed it up. If you don’t like your weight, start exercising and eating better, if you don’t have money, try to find access (through a job, picking up cans and recycling), and I feel like if you end up just being the best you can, you will find somebody who loves you for who you are. If you were endowed with large amounts of money, you’ll be in a relationship, but not necessarily for you, but for your money. So I say, strengthen your qualities and be a better you. Love comes in time.
<3MisterRiddler
April 26th, 2009 at 2:35 am
oh you have no idea how much i know what you are saying, im 15 and a girl, but i do know what you are saying and at about the same point you are you wana talk about how much life sucks, how you cannot find love, how things are getting better whatever you want lol i will listen
helper
handy665@aol.com
April 26th, 2009 at 7:33 pm
I can not get into the site and I have tryed to die so many times it’s jusst a matter of time. I’m a drug addict my family hates me I lost my 3 boys I have no $ I lost my husband my home and now I just want to sleep forever and never wake up.
April 26th, 2009 at 9:31 pm
im in 10th grade too. my name is abby. i feel pretty much the same as you. i remember being unique. i could play violin, and figure skate, and i was smart. and it sort of all fell away. i gained sooooooo much weight. i dont know if thats the reason i cant get guy. maybe its an excuse, ’cause if it was something like my personality, something i will never have a chance at changing, i dont think i could take it. and also, you say you have no friends, but i dont think in the end they help much. i have many friends, but it always feels like they dont understand. i am very close to giving up. but i look at this website, and i think that all of us could just hang in their a bit longer. we could pull together, and even if its a trick of the mind, we could try to see hope. and be happy for a little while. as all the others before me said, im here to talk: abbyhope@sbcglobal.net
April 28th, 2009 at 2:41 pm
I know exactly how you feel, i weigh more then i would like, and ive been in many abusive relationships. my step dad and my real dad were abusive…Im 16 and in 10th grade as well and my name is Kayla if you dont already know. All i want in life is to be loved as well, just to be held by someone that loves me. Im basically just like you, wanting to find love and to be loved back. If you wanna talk my aim is: kaylawells450 and my yahoo is: kaylawells450@yahoo.com . I may not be on all the time except for when im at school because my internet at my house was turned off. And i wanted to thank you about the comments on my post. It actually helped. It made me feel a lil better and then this caught my attention. I want to get to know you as well and share you thoughts. Ill try to answer back when ever im on.
April 29th, 2009 at 4:48 am
sky, i know it is tough. i am going through a divorce and she took the children. some of it is because of choices i made, some because of circumstance. regardless, it gets better. there are resources in your area to help you out, from places that hand out free food and clothing to even shelter. there are support groups in your area. there is a lot to find online. please stick in there, it will be ok, i know firsthand. the site is a little tricky at times but it will let you in. try a different browser or a different connection if you can. OP: look at all these responses! we love you and want oyu to pull through this. dont give up. post in here and update us, ok? helper: keep coming back to this site, we need more people like you on here. everyone else: I’m very proud of you all for being so compassionate. see how things can get better? this is how we do it, too, guys, together. thats why they made this site. we’ll get through all this together. one day at a time, guys, take each issue one issue at a time. you dont have to solve all the issues at once. love will prevail. “We. Are. Your Friends. You’ll. Ne-ver. Be Alone Again.” – MGMT