Comments on: Maybe I am in hell. I’m in hell. http://suicideproject.org/2009/06/maybe-i-am-in-hell-im-in-hell/ share your suicide story with others Sat, 11 Feb 2012 17:42:19 +0000 hourly 1 By: Bombos http://suicideproject.org/2009/06/maybe-i-am-in-hell-im-in-hell/comment-page-1/#comment-34302 Bombos Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:57:09 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2275#comment-34302 I've felt like this too, wanting to live and to kill myself at the same time. It feels like your brain is being teared apart by the contradiction. The words that repeat in your head over and over again, "Everything is terrible, I am worthless, I have no one," is very similar to what I used to say to myself. But, it seems like you've accomplished and experienced a lot in your life. I'm just graduating with my BA in English and I'm always amazed at people who have enough dedication and perseverance to earn a PhD. Thoughts like the ones you have can really contribute to being depressed; once you keep repeating them, they seem more and more like the truth and it's so difficult to lift yourself up even a fraction. Instead of saying that you're "worthless" say "I have worth." Even if you don't believe it, say it. Think of all the things in your life that you have accomplished (big or small) and say it. Repeat it to yourself whenever negative self-talk intrudes. What's the harm in saying that you have worth to yourself? I doubt it will make you feel any worse and it may just make you feel a little better. Doing this has helped me in the past. I don't mean to make it sound like it's so easy to not be depressed, I know it's hard as hell to feel anything good while depressed, I just want to provide a little help by sharing what has worked for me. I’ve felt like this too, wanting to live and to kill myself at the same time. It feels like your brain is being teared apart by the contradiction. The words that repeat in your head over and over again, “Everything is terrible, I am worthless, I have no one,” is very similar to what I used to say to myself. But, it seems like you’ve accomplished and experienced a lot in your life. I’m just graduating with my BA in English and I’m always amazed at people who have enough dedication and perseverance to earn a PhD.

Thoughts like the ones you have can really contribute to being depressed; once you keep repeating them, they seem more and more like the truth and it’s so difficult to lift yourself up even a fraction. Instead of saying that you’re “worthless” say “I have worth.” Even if you don’t believe it, say it. Think of all the things in your life that you have accomplished (big or small) and say it. Repeat it to yourself whenever negative self-talk intrudes. What’s the harm in saying that you have worth to yourself? I doubt it will make you feel any worse and it may just make you feel a little better. Doing this has helped me in the past.

I don’t mean to make it sound like it’s so easy to not be depressed, I know it’s hard as hell to feel anything good while depressed, I just want to provide a little help by sharing what has worked for me.

]]> By: nate http://suicideproject.org/2009/06/maybe-i-am-in-hell-im-in-hell/comment-page-1/#comment-34300 nate Fri, 26 Jun 2009 15:24:01 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2275#comment-34300 look back at your entry, look at all the things youve done and accomplished in your life! theres 22 people on that list! way more than how many friends i have. think of how much more you could do with your life. idk how to make you feel better, im still working that out for myself... but hang in there. and my email is back two posts if you want to talk. look back at your entry, look at all the things youve done and accomplished in your life! theres 22 people on that list! way more than how many friends i have. think of how much more you could do with your life. idk how to make you feel better, im still working that out for myself… but hang in there. and my email is back two posts if you want to talk.

]]> By: Calamity Jane http://suicideproject.org/2009/06/maybe-i-am-in-hell-im-in-hell/comment-page-1/#comment-34295 Calamity Jane Fri, 26 Jun 2009 10:19:12 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2275#comment-34295 I just wanted you to know that I read your entry... and I feel very similar/think I've had a similar experience growing up... well, but reading through some of your "stuff that happened" you've been more sucessful then me, I haven't been at all.. anyways. I wanted to say, I remember being depressed even as a really small child, like you, wishing to dissappear into a winneh the pooh book, or just hiding, closing my eyes tight and hoping if they're was a god he'd take pity and take me away... 26 years later I'm still here, still wishing to be taken away.. and I don't think I have any faith left. I've often thought, if I did die and go to hell, it would but just the same as where I am now... I'm in alot of emotional pain right now, have recently been very hurt by those close to me, I even researched and made my suicide plan, posted a suicide not on here, yet, I can't bring myself to do it... and I get told I'm crying wolf and I mustn't really be suicidal at all. It's not true and I fucking hate my life. there's nothing to look forward to, no hope that there will ever be, death seems like such a peaceful idea. If you read this, get in toch with me if you like, might be good to talk, just to share similar feelings and experiences. Kitten_666_@hotmail.com I just wanted you to know that I read your entry… and I feel very similar/think I’ve had a similar experience growing up… well, but reading through some of your “stuff that happened” you’ve been more sucessful then me, I haven’t been at all.. anyways. I wanted to say, I remember being depressed even as a really small child, like you, wishing to dissappear into a winneh the pooh book, or just hiding, closing my eyes tight and hoping if they’re was a god he’d take pity and take me away… 26 years later I’m still here, still wishing to be taken away.. and I don’t think I have any faith left. I’ve often thought, if I did die and go to hell, it would but just the same as where I am now… I’m in alot of emotional pain right now, have recently been very hurt by those close to me, I even researched and made my suicide plan, posted a suicide not on here, yet, I can’t bring myself to do it… and I get told I’m crying wolf and I mustn’t really be suicidal at all. It’s not true and I fucking hate my life. there’s nothing to look forward to, no hope that there will ever be, death seems like such a peaceful idea. If you read this, get in toch with me if you like, might be good to talk, just to share similar feelings and experiences. Kitten_666_@hotmail.com

]]>