Comments on: Eighth grade and more hell along the way :) http://suicideproject.org/2009/07/eighth-grade-and-more/ share your suicide story with others Fri, 12 Mar 2010 16:31:40 -0600 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: jeff http://suicideproject.org/2009/07/eighth-grade-and-more/comment-page-1/#comment-34907 jeff Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:56:36 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2886#comment-34907 you can talk to me if you like, im 16 and i've puled myself through a lot of crap, i'll tell u more if you msg me but ne ways my email is theaviationband@yahoo.com, much love, jeff you can talk to me if you like, im 16 and i’ve puled myself through a lot of crap, i’ll tell u more if you msg me but ne ways my email is theaviationband@yahoo.com, much love, jeff

]]> By: Aleshya http://suicideproject.org/2009/07/eighth-grade-and-more/comment-page-1/#comment-34905 Aleshya Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:05:10 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2886#comment-34905 oh ya one more thing, I understand <3 oh ya one more thing, I understand <3

]]> By: Aleshya http://suicideproject.org/2009/07/eighth-grade-and-more/comment-page-1/#comment-34904 Aleshya Sun, 19 Jul 2009 08:04:46 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2886#comment-34904 ok, just cause people love ya doesn't mean they can help you or do the right thing, (unfortunetly.) It has been my experience that people who are not suicidal/depressed/traumatized, don't have any clue how to do the right thing. My boyfriend loves me and fortunetly I'm soo crazy for him he is like my own medicine, but i know he has no idea what to do. He just tries his best and it really makes me feel loved. But when I'm around other people somtimes, it's like I'm not there. And i feel that way around my boyfriend too sometimes. Don't search for a purpose in life, it can be quite depressing. Your mom doesn't understand either. you may have to give up on the hope that she would understand cause she probably would never understand. Build ur relationship around that thought and I'm sure things would work out with fewer conflicts. People always have conflicts. Cutting feels rly good. But try not to do it when ya don't want to cause it's a hassle to have to hide it all the time. I think u r dwelling too much on ur horrible "boyfriend" cause it may feel like love but it doesn't mean he's perfect for you, bcause you can't choose who you want to love really. Being used it a horrid feeling too. Try to forget cuase dwelling on it makes things worse. Try to keep movin forward? that's how you do it. each day at a time and don't think back if it's a bad day. (I know it's not as easy as it sounds) but u were strong enough to make it to here, you can get past this. ok, just cause people love ya doesn’t mean they can help you or do the right thing, (unfortunetly.) It has been my experience that people who are not suicidal/depressed/traumatized, don’t have any clue how to do the right thing. My boyfriend loves me and fortunetly I’m soo crazy for him he is like my own medicine, but i know he has no idea what to do. He just tries his best and it really makes me feel loved. But when I’m around other people somtimes, it’s like I’m not there. And i feel that way around my boyfriend too sometimes. Don’t search for a purpose in life, it can be quite depressing. Your mom doesn’t understand either. you may have to give up on the hope that she would understand cause she probably would never understand. Build ur relationship around that thought and I’m sure things would work out with fewer conflicts. People always have conflicts. Cutting feels rly good. But try not to do it when ya don’t want to cause it’s a hassle to have to hide it all the time. I think u r dwelling too much on ur horrible “boyfriend” cause it may feel like love but it doesn’t mean he’s perfect for you, bcause you can’t choose who you want to love really. Being used it a horrid feeling too. Try to forget cuase dwelling on it makes things worse. Try to keep movin forward? that’s how you do it. each day at a time and don’t think back if it’s a bad day. (I know it’s not as easy as it sounds) but u were strong enough to make it to here, you can get past this.

]]> By: pulling the plug http://suicideproject.org/2009/07/eighth-grade-and-more/comment-page-1/#comment-34851 pulling the plug Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:49:12 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2886#comment-34851 Another thought - you ask, "Yet he and all of the others love the crap outta me yet why do i feel alone?" I think that what most of us really need is to be <i>understood</i>, more than we need people to just say they love us. We need to actually <i>feel</i> understood, not just have people saying things that they think we want to hear. Like, if you're getting bullied at school, you don't just want somebody to say, "Oh, I'm so sorry that's happening!" I mean, yeah, you might feel better for a split second, but the reality is, you need help to get the bully to leave you alone. Which means that someone who *really* loved you would figure out a way to help. They would care about *your* pain as much as they care about their own. They wouldn't just leave you sitting there with your problems and do nothing to help you change the situation. Another thought – you ask, “Yet he and all of the others love the crap outta me yet why do i feel alone?”

I think that what most of us really need is to be understood, more than we need people to just say they love us. We need to actually feel understood, not just have people saying things that they think we want to hear.

Like, if you’re getting bullied at school, you don’t just want somebody to say, “Oh, I’m so sorry that’s happening!” I mean, yeah, you might feel better for a split second, but the reality is, you need help to get the bully to leave you alone. Which means that someone who *really* loved you would figure out a way to help. They would care about *your* pain as much as they care about their own. They wouldn’t just leave you sitting there with your problems and do nothing to help you change the situation.

]]> By: pulling the plug http://suicideproject.org/2009/07/eighth-grade-and-more/comment-page-1/#comment-34850 pulling the plug Fri, 17 Jul 2009 16:26:16 +0000 http://suicideproject.org/?p=2886#comment-34850 Well, I don't have all the answers or I wouldn't be here... But what keeps me going is learning which people I really *can* trust and which ones aren't actually any good for me. The hardest thing for me has been realizing that my family *doesn't* really love me. When I told them I was suicidal and needed help, they just said I was 'trying to get attention'. No shit, sherlock - the whole reason people get depressed and messed up in the first place is because <i>nobody's paying them any attention.</i> So, if people *say* they love you, but they don't actually *do* anything that makes you FEEL loved, then: They don't really love you. What they *love* is: Themselves. They love the image that they are loving caring people. So they say, "I love you" so that they can feel good about themselves. The trick is to notice: When somebody says they love you, what do *you* feel, inside yourself? Do you feel loved? Or do you feel - I don't know - yucky, or miserable somehow? This is the clue. If somebody really does love you, you'll feel it. It'll feel GOOD. It won't feel icky in some way. If it feels icky, then that means they love themSELVES more than they love you, and they just want you to think good thoughts about them. They think you won't notice that they never actually DO anything that helps you, that makes you feel good, that makes you FEEL loved. Does that make any sense? I have had to cut my family out of my life because of this, and even though it was really hard and scary and lonely and I had a bunch of panic attacks and still don't sleep very well, I no longer feel like killing myself. Because what I realized is that the pain I was feeling came from the LIES my family was telling me. They were LYING when they said they loved me. They don't understand that the WORDS mean nothing - it's the ACTIONS that count. (Sorry about the all caps, don't mean to yell, I just feel really, really strongly about this. Obviously...) Well, I don’t have all the answers or I wouldn’t be here…

But what keeps me going is learning which people I really *can* trust and which ones aren’t actually any good for me.

The hardest thing for me has been realizing that my family *doesn’t* really love me. When I told them I was suicidal and needed help, they just said I was ‘trying to get attention’.

No shit, sherlock – the whole reason people get depressed and messed up in the first place is because nobody’s paying them any attention.

So, if people *say* they love you, but they don’t actually *do* anything that makes you FEEL loved, then: They don’t really love you.

What they *love* is: Themselves. They love the image that they are loving caring people. So they say, “I love you” so that they can feel good about themselves.

The trick is to notice: When somebody says they love you, what do *you* feel, inside yourself? Do you feel loved? Or do you feel – I don’t know – yucky, or miserable somehow?

This is the clue. If somebody really does love you, you’ll feel it. It’ll feel GOOD. It won’t feel icky in some way.

If it feels icky, then that means they love themSELVES more than they love you, and they just want you to think good thoughts about them. They think you won’t notice that they never actually DO anything that helps you, that makes you feel good, that makes you FEEL loved.

Does that make any sense?

I have had to cut my family out of my life because of this, and even though it was really hard and scary and lonely and I had a bunch of panic attacks and still don’t sleep very well, I no longer feel like killing myself.

Because what I realized is that the pain I was feeling came from the LIES my family was telling me. They were LYING when they said they loved me. They don’t understand that the WORDS mean nothing – it’s the ACTIONS that count. (Sorry about the all caps, don’t mean to yell, I just feel really, really strongly about this. Obviously…)

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