oh what i wouldn’t do to have the courage to get the hell out of this hell hole world….. i hate my life,the struggle, the selfpity, self hatered,the guilt of my past,the fear of the future.

its a cold wet day in ireland as i write this..i just left my lovely girlfriend in bed & came back to my empty house…

i hate this aloneness i feel most of the time.a feeling i’ve had since i were a kid, & now @ 46 i feel like a kid still.

i want my family to want me.accept me,love me ect..but they never have and never will, the adult side of me understands they are not capable & they are full of guilt for what they did to me why i was a kid, beatings, mental torture to mention but a few…..

i have to stop writing now as my anger is surfacing & i got nowhere to get rid of it just now……

oh how i hate my head……………

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This entry was posted on Friday, October 30th, 2009 at 6:44 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.