Just want someone to talk to….
November 3rd, 2009 by donnynoirIm 18 and extremely unhappy. Im a musician currently writing a concept album about a series of personal things leading to a suicide and it seems to be the only thing that makes my life barable at the moment. Ive fucked up my schooling with poor grades and have this constant weight of stress on me that ill never get to be anyone because of it and have nowhere to go. The only thing I have is music and my girlfriend. My mom is constantly bitching at me about school but she just cant understand that theres just certain people who cant be made to do certain things and the creative mind that I have cant be made to do pointless tasks in math and all my other courses. All I really want is some people who are maybe going through the same thing or just wanna talk and help, id be very grateful. Add me at donny9999@msn.com or leave some form of contact.
November 3rd, 2009 at 11:28 pm
I’m pretty much like you… I have horribly bad grades, and people are constantly telling me to do better. The only thing I have is music…. most people don’t understand that….
kinrox1@yahoo.com
talk to mee….
November 4th, 2009 at 7:55 am
Now Donny. My alias is Phoung. I am 16 going on 17. I am a high school drop out because of what the environment around has produced for me.
You are absolutely correct on that. Some people may be better at other things while with the others, they can do things that some people cant. most people don’t realize this, unless you’re the one being victimized. However, it takes an enormouse of amount of maturity to find that out. Not many people will realize it today, or maybe not tomorrow or maybe even never.
all you have to do donny is just do what you like to do: your music. You are musician, right? This is something you are good at (whether you are or not) and something you enjoy. And no one can take that from you.
I would advise that you keep your gf close. She is the only thing that spiritually loves you in a way not many other can. and she should be the one who will always listen. She should be there with you when your world is crashing and when it is rebuilding and you should do the same for her as well.
And if you commit sucide and leave her behind think of how she will feel? think of how she will have to bear the pain you have unleashed unto her. The only thing worse than your own pain is when you inflict pain onto the one you love. That is the worst and low crime ever. So before you commit to this or that, think about it. Who will be the real victim? Definately not you if you just achieved your goal.
As for your grades and school, i understand. Depression is something that makes it difficult for any student to study or concentrate. But for the mother situation, she is probably sterotyping the “students skip school” theory so she is only trying to give you that extra push.
As for you mother, she might feel that she may not be doing her job well as a mother, otherwise you would be getting good grades. And it is posible that she may or may not know about your problems that you face by yourself. Its up to you whether or not you want to confide and tell her how you feel. But i haven’t the slightest idea of what goes on inside your hope besides the yelling.
Donny, you can be anyone you want to be. You can choose to end your life today or maybe tomorrow. But you can always choose to restart everything, and work your way from their. You dont have end your life, “Make the end the beginning of a new start”.
Donny, all you need is some help with this. And im almost positive, that once you can finally say “Depression! GO SUCK IT!”" you can get good grades, make your mom stop yelling at you, and you can be the person you can truly want to be.
As of right now, you are in a hole. By shouting for help, is s good step towards this relief you seek. As for your suicide thing. I have read this from another site. Feeling Suicidal and Commiting Sucide are two very different things. Right now you are feeling suicidal, here, you can turn back at any time you want; and get rid of all this hell that collapses around you. However, in the act of suicide, you cannot go back, because you are dead. And the sad part is, you will have died with no peace in mind and your soul will remain as so: unhappy.
And i hope you can see that suicide isn’t the answer for you. If you are a musician, do you know how many beautiful things you can compose? You are a work of art, Donny, please don’t waste it. Seeing beautfil things go to waste is a true regret.
And yes, i want to talk about waht ever problems you have. I believe that by working together to acheive this state, you will one day be happy again.
November 4th, 2009 at 8:24 am
I’ve sent you an email… If you need to talk… just hit me back…
November 4th, 2009 at 3:32 pm
Just read your post and I’m here if you need someone with a vaguely similar story to talk to.
dan_372@hotmail.co.uk