dont know anything

i am just 23 and already feel tired everyday don’t know what to do also don’t want to talk with everyone i don’t call back to my friend also mostly. feel like dying every minute now and don’t feel like coming home also but i stay mostly at home . so i can stop fight between mom and dad

we never had a single day without a fight for past years it has increased so much the fighting is everyday goes on . when ever my dad is home i feel like they we fight any second . i can’t concentrate on my studies at all in the class sometime when i try to learn my mind wanders off . whenever i start a assignment with ideas i am not able to finish it , even when i have to go for movie or eating out , i prayed to god that its get canceled even though it is me who first make the plan .and also if i have to go to some place i just keep thinking about time and  its going and want its to stop i cant to talk to any of my friends about it

people think that as i have my own room  house and everything that it is very good for me , but i just want  some peace , i always watched comedy show and always wished i had that family , today also when i was outside i was just thinking about the house and what was happening there . sometime i wished i die in sleep like if my brain get burst or something , because of all fight i was never good at anything and never concentrated on any one subject but thankfully i passed my school but now the most important time of my life is here and i cannot concentrate , sometime i cant even laugh on a joke even its funny as i don’t feel it at all but i pretend to smile

today is the first time i am writing like this and also i always love nights now as i am alone in my room and try to sleep very late and just want to die in sleep and if i talk to my family about it also i will create a great chaos, noise and everything