GIVE ME A F!
GIVE ME A U!
GIVE ME A C!
GIVE ME A K!
GIVE ME A E!
GIVE ME A D!

WHAT DO YOU GET!
I CANT HEAR YOU!!!

My aunt (his wife) stood at his side and would enjoy to see me fail.

Blood doesn’t mean anything nowadays?

Sometimes I do wonder if this so-called “shitty” Life is either:

1. simply just it is. and that humans are *SLOWLY* and painstakingly learning in perhaps hundreds of generations, that things will get better. And the *HOPE* inside each of us is for us to unleash it, to CREATE or BE the Change that we want to see (ie: Mahatma Gandhi’s popular remarks),

2. as a “test” for the next Life, for our Spirit/Soul/whatever.
It’s still a mystery to us five-sense humans, but I do believe that this Universe is far larger and contains a lot of mysterious that us five-senses and 3D humans still can’t fathom/comprehend..

or
3. Nothing matters at all.
If humanity will destroy Earth, then so it be.
the whole Universe simply will keep continue and it certainly won’t stop its course, just because this “shitty” humanrace and Earth got destroyed.

I too have been a victim of this cruel world, but my problem (that i absolutely fukking loathe but don’t know hot to fix) is that everytime someone does something bad to me, i just go and make it worse by saying shit about them.

For example: I really liked this girl at my school.
I told my mate about her, and he wanted for himself. I knew that he did, but I didn’t say anything to him as I didn’t want to upset him.
They started talking on msn and myspace and then, out of no where, they had a fallout and started calling each other names. He started calling her a slut/whore and things like that. (I think it may have been because he kept trying to get on to her even though she didn’t).

Anyways, a lot of other people got involved and it became a massive mess.
I posted a comment on my other friend’s wall, bagging my other mate (the one i told about the girl). I don’t know why I did it, and i fukken regret it every day of my fukking life. He forgave me for it because i absolutely poured my heart out to him, but i’m not so sure he cares anymore. I didn’t want to lose her because she was the first girl I ever felt very strongly for, and i was on the brink of losing her, because of my friend. Perhaps that is why i did it.

There isn’t a day that goes past where i don’t think about it. Does this make me a bad person? I’m not so sure, because i’m truly sorry for it. I’m only fukking human, and i do make mistakes, but i see the errors in my ways and try to make them better. I feel very depressed :’(.

So much shit has happened to me and i think it has taken me over. i used to treat my friends like crap sometimes (such as ignoring them and talking about them). I really don’t like it. I confronted them and told them i was really sorry. It’s due to my depression that i sometimes treat other people badly. it seems to start whenever they start bragging about something, it just really annoys me. But i have realised that each person is unique in their own way and i respect that.

I fogive all those who have wronged me, but in return, i wish for those who have wronged to forgive me, because i know that i fukked up and am truly sorry for it. Do I not deserve forgiveness too? who knows.

I am so sorry mnemosyne, i don’t think my spiel helped u too much, but to be honest, people are people. Most of them can’t help it. You will find someone one day and they will transform your world into the beauty it deserves. can’t say the same for myself but oh well. who cares about me :’(

(And laughter is good–the best medicine–if you get that movie, you will laugh and cry at the same time.)

Try surrounding yourself with worthy people. People have let me down too, but I don’t focus on it…too much. A lot of people are just selfish and mean. It sucks.

My problem is I trust people too quickly, and I pedestal them in the sense that they become super-awesome and can do no wrong, which sets me up for failure when they do, for I then say “they suck” fairly quickly. Which isn’t really fair to anyone, including myself, but I am working on it.

My mother had the worst parents ever. Alcoholics, abusive in all ways, sexually abused her (the father). She became a stand-up comic when she turned 19 years-old and based much of her material on them. She had to laugh about it and if she didn’t she was going to commit suicide. And my mom told me that she got over it when she realized her parents were just people. She took them off the pedestal and saw them as people with faults and weaknesses and the whole lot.

So we do put too much faith in worthless people that didn’t deserve our reverence in the first place. This is what I have come to realize.

So, laugh about some things. Get that movie I mentioned. Take those people in the past and take them off the pedestal and laugh at them. Difficult to do at first but it is possible. (I have a friend that belly-laughs all of his tragedies, it is quite intoxicating to hear him laugh about how much things suck for him right now…and it isn’t angry laughter, more like a “truth is stranger than fiction” laughter, and it works for him.) Remove the worthless people’s importance, and value and honor and cherish the one’s you know are worthy of your honor.

I got so sick on my roommate (who used to be my friend) I went and visited a good friend in Texas last month. It did wonders for my psyche.

There are people who are worthy of your time. Find them. (Stay away from people that covet worldly devices, though. That is a definite character flaw to look out for, those people always turn out to be worthless people.)

z

The past is pointless. I agree. But no matter how much I tell myself that, it still affects me. Every time I think of the people who have let me down I feel like strangling someone.

Yea, my life is not interesting. Neither is anyone else’s.

I just want to live the way I want. But for some reason whenever I try to make a step forward I always hesitate and think “what’s the point of trying”.

I like those four points, but it’s so hard to live an ideal life, especially when I can’t trust everyone else to live up to those same standards.