Post traumatic stress disorder that cannot end because you have to relive the events over and over kills you. Not literally but your emotions, feelings and the will to get out of bed. Lying under the duvet, sleep is evasive, not like crowding thoughts, Every avenue you explore is interupted by memories and physical fear. Its not about causing pain for the people who love/need you its this desperate need to escape from your mind. the relief from sleep, constant, is such an indulgent and yet obvious way out. Will I, I dont know, I buy time taking the sweeties prescribed by my gp. They slow me down. I have given it a deadline and am busy putting my affairs into order, god knows why, and meantime I face each day like one step on mount everest. Who am I? I have no idea but I dont want reponsibility, having once been a high flyer who provided for my family, my brain now functions in a mindset that I dont recognise.
2 comments
Hello………who are you? Are you a man or a woman back from the war and home was NOT like you expected and with the HORRENDOUS economy now it even adds to your PTSD???? Am I close??? Bless your heart. If you are in the military I DO have so much respect for you. Please, don’t do anything hasty. I feel certain you have many people who love you very much, who cherisy you, who honor you, who want you around a VERY long time. Please get help. I know the VA sucks, but bugg the crap out of them. I know they are having new programs for PTSD, and different meds that DOOOOOO help. Support groups help, Outside active activities help, karate to get out the anger, art therapy is also good. PLEASE STICK AROUND!!!!!!! I am certain SO MANY PEOPLE would be devastated if you were NOT here. PLEASE…..it DOES get better and there IS help for you. God bless you and you are in my heart. Jen …..oh I think the VA may have hypnosis for the PTSD. IT WILL GET BETTER !!! 🙂
I don’t know what to say about PTSD. It sounds terrifying. All I can say is that I hope you can find some way for peace, that doesn’t involve suicide. I can tell that you love your family and wouldn’t want to leave them.
I’m not trying to guilt you, just noticing that you are a caring person. Know that you have people who support you, even though they don’t know you. Like me. When I get to that desperate, frantic point, and no one is around to distract me from that incessant stream of negativity going through my mind, I always pray for someone, somewhere to just give a shit about me and validate my pain.
Well, I’m telling you, you’re pain is valid, and I pray that you can find some relief, and get back to your life.