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Have ruined it all!!! now this will eat the sh*t out of me.

March 11th, 2010 by xolo

have been given another chance but all i keep doing is disappoint my parents now my mum will never forgive me for this. i have done drugs, alcohol and almost everything but still my mum was there, she made sure that i smiled through the darkest shadows of my life. but she never really got a chance to know what i was going through. i laughed to the burst of the loudest of my voice and with that  everyone always thought i was fine and going through  a good path. i have this pain and anger within, what better killing myself than having being shouted by my mum again for the 15680 time?????

:-( i am so in pain i have been to 2 psychologists already but still no help, survived 9suicidal attempts. is this a sign for me? i cant seem to see anything apart from the looser i am. im such a bitch, i keep ruining my mum’s life. when will she find happiness if i keep disappointing her? how can she have the most perfect lilfe if she still have me as her daughter? i hate myself and after writtung this im going to OVERDOSE and try dying in pain.

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This entry was posted on Thursday, March 11th, 2010 at 8:57 am and is filed under General. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

4 Responses to “Have ruined it all!!! now this will eat the sh*t out of me.”

  1. K3T Says:
    March 11th, 2010 at 7:34 pm

    no, no, please don’t. that would surely hurt your mother further.

    you can’t do that to her…she gave birth to you… you are her child.

    please talk to me… my contact info is at skull09.net

    don’t hurt yourself, please. forgive the ones who hurt you. please talk to me.

    thank you for reading.

  2. TheSavior Says:
    March 11th, 2010 at 11:47 pm

    Hey, listen! Killing yourself would only put your mom in even more pain. Imagine how devastated she would feel to know her daughter took her own life because she was depressed. If the phsychiatrist didnt work out for you, you need to talk to someone you know and trust. Your mom should be your first choice. And you can get over the drug thing. Millions have, I know you can too.
    Just don’t hurt yourself. If you really care for your mom, you would try to find help to get past the drugs and inner hatred. That help could even come from your mom. One more think, you may not be a believer or anything but try talking to God. It always works for me. Take advice from the Savior.

  3. justalvaro Says:
    March 12th, 2010 at 4:57 pm

    @The Savior. You are cruel and inconsiderate. You are making people have to believe what you believe without caring actually for them

  4. xolo Says:
    March 26th, 2010 at 10:45 am

    THANX GUYS THANX ALOT!!! BUT HW DO I LET MY MUM SEE DAT IM HURTING? @JUSTALVARO WHY U SAYING ALL THAT ABOUT SAVIOR?

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