May 30th, 2010by pastorsteinke
Not a good day today. Never felt more alone in a room full of people then I do now. I have been married for over 22 years and four children of all I love, but things are overwhelming right now… tooo much. I tried to pull the trigger, but just couldn’t, even did it while standing infront of my wife…foolish.
We just had the hugest argument that we have ever had and I just can’t take it anymore. My life is worthless, my married marred, and my example as a father destoryed. All I want to do is leave. My wife doesn’t care, she just doesn’t care, she said that. Then tell my WHY should I stay around. WHY?????
I’m a Christian and know I will be in heaven, but I feel like a lost person without hope right now. I would rather not do this, but there seems to be no other choice.
Just like any suicide note, it is a last resort for someone to help me, but I doubt if it will happen… God help me!
My head is about to explode with anger, disgrace, disappointment, and hurt. No relief, just no relief. My blood pressure is so high I can feel it in my veins in my head. It hurts!!!
I love my family and wish I didn’t do this, but…