Oh God, I’m crazy.
September 3rd, 2010 by hatemepleaseDo you ever have those days when you feel insane? Like, mood swings, where you jump from “I should go to the hospital so I don’t kill myself” to “I am on top of the world!”? It’s not bipolar because he mood swings are way to sudden, but it’s something. I woke up this morning convinced that I was either going to hit up a friend for 20 vicodin or finally go to the hospital and bite that bullet (in a lot of ways, I think that the hospital would be worse than suicide because I would still be alive to have to face all of the never ending fake sympathy and over-bearing concern of people) but then, I just hit good mood mode. Now, I think that I am working on heading back to my normal depressed state, but I had 5 or 6 hours with amazing self esteem and a great mood. I’m not sure what it is and I’m not sure if it is something that anyone else has felt, but it is a very strange way.
-hatemeplease
(“hate me today. hate me tomorrow. hate me for all the things I didn’t do for you. hate me in ways, ways hard to swallow. hate me so you can finally see what’s good for you.” -Blue October, “hate me”)
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September 3rd, 2010 at 2:46 am
hatemplease, you are not alone.
I also consider myself to be somewhat “bipolar”, often experiencing such sudden mood swings, that others look at me like “what the..?” sometimes.
But if I may give you some kind of comforts that you’re not alone, it’s these several things that I’ve found (& also other here have kindly pointed out):
1. You might be a Highly Sensitive Person (try google it). and here’s the free self-test to see/know if you might be into this category,..like I do.
http://www.hsperson.com/pages/test.htm
2. Try taking the Myers-Briggs (MBTI) Personality Test, here’s the free one: http://sminds.com/mbti/
you might possibly be of the INFP type, here’s the complete description: http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/infp/
3. this thread with the Youtube link that is excellent about the REAL reality about “being bipolar” : http://suicideproject.org/2010/08/why-bipolar-people-commit-suicide/
hopefully by following and knowing these three things above,..least can be somewhat comforting to know that you’re not alone.
there’re quite many people like you, but perhaps unfortunately they’re just scattered around the city, country, or the planet…and hard to find in your vicinity/surrounding real life….like I’m having a very hard time too finding similar, like-minded souls/individuals. which sometimes could made me depressed even more.
September 3rd, 2010 at 4:32 am
Hatemeplease- I’ve had this happen to me a few times. It’s horrible. I have no idea what it is though…
September 5th, 2010 at 11:44 am
I get this all the time. And i just did that test.. came out as an INFP.
September 5th, 2010 at 12:14 pm
@Sezzastar: I thought so…as I’m an INFP too (and I’m somewhat sure that *most* people here in this website if follow the test would come out as INFP too).
INFP is one of the rarest Personality Type in this world, but it’s currently on the rise now (about 4% of total world population, used to only be 1% only).
I wonder if this rise might heavily related with the ‘Rise of Indigo & Crystal Children’ phenomenom related also with Shift in Human’s Consciousness in year 2012. but this is for another topic. just go google it. it’s interesting to see the correlations!).
anyway, take a look at this description: http://similarminds.com/jung/infp.html
taken from the main website info on INFP: http://www.mypersonality.info/personality-types/infp/
and then just go google “INFP forum”,..and you’ll suddenly find that you can find “somewhere you belong”, ie: meeting similar like-minded people. and it’s just comforting to know you’re not alone!