February 5th, 2011 by rusty

Does anyone have any thoughts on suicide by drinking anti-freeze?

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23 Responses to “Anti-freeze?”

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  1. Don’t do it! They don’t put the chemical that was really lethal in it anymore all your gonna get is pain!

  2. what i know(from many documentary i have seen) is that if you overdose it you WILL die within a few hours but its gonna be painful because you will suffocate.

  3. I just want to find a way to die at home in bed.

  4. Don’t try antifreeze I really think it’s a bad idea and seriously painful bit like drinking bleach. How old and where you from rusty?

  5. 37. Virginia.

  6. How about Ambien? is it possible to OD and pass away on that?

  7. Google antifreeze and take the wiki link. Ethylene glycol poisoning. Take your chances with helium or hanging if you really want out.

  8. Why do you want to die rusty?

  9. My life is hell and I’m out of options. I cant find work, I’m ill, I’m out of money, I lost the love of my life, all my friends have abandoned me, I’m 100 grand in debt and will be homeles in a few days. I’ve been struggling with these problems for years, as wel as mental illness. I always keep fighting and trying, but I’m done finally. I want peace. I don’t want to be around to hurt people anymore. I want an end to my pain, that I know will only get worse in time.

    I know a lovely place to jump a few hours away with a 600 foot drop. But I’d rather do it at home, and leave my body in one piece for my family.

  10. Its not a thing I can talked out of now. I’m going to die and soon. It’s just a matter of how. I want i to be a sure death, no fuck ups. I want it to be as painless as possible, or a least quick. And if I can leave my body intact all the better.

    But if I don’t find an at home option soon, I will jump off that bridge or hang myself from another, probably with even of a drop to decapitate myself so I can’t be rescued.

  11. I have an ambien prescription I have yet to fill. What would I need to do to ensure ambien kills me? Would I have to take something else in conjunction with it?

  12. I’m sorry man. I know what it feels like having your back against the wall. I share a lot of the same problems.. except I’ve never found the love of my life.

    Does your family know how you feel? How are they gonna handle finding your body? I’d rather not let them find me if possible.

  13. I don’t know about ambien.. I’ve heard too many horror stories about people ODing on pills and waking up in the hospital worse off than before.

    I think I’m leaning towards hanging myself.. I just learned how to tie a slip knot.

  14. Rusty, I’d really like to try to help and tell you you shouldn’t do it but I’m in the same place you are so I’d feel like a hippocrite telling you that. Any depressed person knows that at somepoint it all gets to much and you will make an attempt. If I think back in the past I’ve always been trying to find the solution or the thing that will change the depression. It has never even been close to coming. I hope you find peace rusty!

  15. Ambien is not a good idea Rusty. It would just leave you with more problems than you have now. I feel much like you, I’m in Maryland, a bit older than you. I also feel like I’m out of options and have been considering methods.

  16. Thanks. I think I’m just going to drive out to the bridge tomorrow. I’m ready. I’d go tonight but there’s probably snow up there. Better to wait for daylight.

  17. rusty, are you still there ?

  18. Rusty … U still there? I’m where u are……as a side note….mineral spirits is not much help.drank 6oz and got bad diarrhea. And mineral spirits is a solvent…so therefore my asshole really feels like it got ripped a new one.Then tried 4 oz of antifreeze…really bile stuff. Kept it down though. So we will see…..

  19. idk about antifreeze, Its the exact opposite of what id do. To die i am looking for a natural means, whether by drowning or natural poison. i bet u have some of these plants in your backyard

  20. Rusty the only painless non gruesome death out the is the helium or nitrogen hood or barbiturates. The rest of the pills including Amibien, won’t ever kill you no matter the amount you take.
    I share similar circumstances and I am also your age. I wish I had the courage to jump of a bridge cause that’s the only viable option for me.
    I wish you peace when you leave if you go ahead with it. Just please think beautiful thoughts as you exit this world, as some say you will carry your last state of consciousness onto the “next realm”, if there is such a thing. Just in case it doesn’t hurt to do this.

  21. Well….it’s a new day. At 2pm i was finally able to ingest 8oz of antifreeze from store up the road. It took the help of eating a hot dog to get past the Bitrex. I am reasonably intoxicated and proud to be able to keep the bitter/sweet potion of death in my system.

    May or may not comment any more after this. Wish me luck!!!!!

  22. Hi. I know a lot of you are in pain and thinking about killing yourselves because you feel like you are out of options.

    Please wait. There’s always another option. Move to Thailand and teach English. Go volunteer with people who are mentally or physically disadvantaged.

    If you are thinking about offing yourself because of finances, declare bankruptcy or even walk away. It’s not worth killing yourself over. My Plan B is to just charge up one last ticket and move to some country that it’s cheap to live and teach English by telling people that we use and immersion technique and we only speak English in this class. That will make up for

    If you’re in pain because of love- I know, it sucks. But you’ll probably feel less strongly in five years. Maybe rescuing a dog from the pound will help a little bit.

    If you have medical problems and are broke there has to be a state that offers better services. West Hollywood, CA has a lot of services and help for certain conditions. The City of Hope hospital supposedly doesn’t turn away anyone because of finances. If you are about to be homeless, take the last little bit of money and get on a bus to a city with good services for homeless people. Things will get better.

    There’s always another option. I understand that the pain you feel is overwhelming and that it gives tunnel vision and blocks you from seeing other options but really try to picture under what conditions you can ditch whatever environment you are in and start over.

    Call a suicide hotline when you have urges and plan for change. I used to work in the dept in the hospital where people woke up after failed suicide attempts and I can tell you that whatever was wrong before didn’t get better with three broken limbs, burnt stomach and/or brain damage. Flip the dice in a different way. See if you can get out of your own head by going elsewhere and helping someone who maybe has fewer limbs than you or a hurt animal or something. Change your environment dramatically. Go see a psychiatrist and see if it’s something chemical that can be changed.

    I’ve had bad depression before- I know how dark it can be. Do anything other than what the depression is telling you to. Things will get better. Just keep changing things up until things get better. Helping others will be an important key but maybe pick something that is different from the problems you are having. I volunteered building wheelchairs for kids without limbs overseas who have no access to wheelchairs and their parents have to take them to the bathroom even if they are 15 or 17. That wheelchair gives the person instant freedom and some possibility of privacy. And building it gives me a little time to focus on something other than my problems. (I do it through Wheels For Humanity and

    Things will get better. Change things until they do. Good luck!

  23. P.S. That should say St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital (for cancer) not City of Hope but there have to be other hospitals that don’t turn anyone away because of finances and if you search you can find hospitalize that specialize in different conditions.

    David Burns wrote a really good book called Feeling Good: the New Mood Therapy which talks about how depression, PTSD, and/or pain can cause thoughts to be distorted which then distorts feelings and makes you feel like the hopelessness will never end. Sometimes changing your environment can help, other times you might need a therapist and/or psychiatrist to help you change your distorted thinking patterns and/or check on the chemical balance of your brain.

    Get help. Most cities have free/low cost clinics or sliding scales for therapies. Check with the local gay and lesbian center even if your heterosexual, they can either provide services or point you in the right direction.

    There’s something called 5150 where you can call and be hospitalized for up to 72 hours if you ever feel like you might hurt yourself or others. They will probably basically sedate you and point you to free / cheap help. There are even programs to get meds. The two friends I had who were 5150′d by relatives said that it helped a lot. One got to stay at a county-run facility for two weeks until she was feeling stabilized and under the care of a psychiatrist.

    Not all psychiatrists are good (most are ignorant power-trippers) so find someone who has good references and/or reviews and clicks well with you. Ask a friend to help you. You can find a nonprofit who can help you, or maybe a social worker or case manager, or maybe you can even go to an AA meeting and get a sponsor to help you even if you don’t have alcohol issues. Please find help. You can do it. Things will get better.

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