After much debate and worry, I’ve decided to use the helium exit bag method. I kind of tried it before but was not doing it correctly. I experimented with my depleted tank and now see how to operate it properly. I’m not sure when my roommate is getting home so I may check into a hotel to do it.
I think tonight I will go out and get a little drunk and then go buy supplies tomorrow and finish this. I’m oddly happy to know I have a plan of action and my pain will be over soon. I’m almost tempted to go ahead on to a 24 hour Wal-Mart now and get the stuff I need.
26 comments
Please don’t do this. There are so many things worth living for.
No there aren’t. I’m suffering, have been for a long time, and it’s only going to get worse.
Life can be really good if you make it.
All I’m saying is that life can be full of painful situations that help us grow as people and that these painful times don’t last forever.
Those are platitudes. They do not reflect the reality of my life. I appreciate the gesture, but they are empty words. I’ve worked my ass of my entire life. I have nothing and no one now. I’m out of money and will be homeless soon with nowhere to go. (Just for clarification, my father have two empty rooms in his house, but he’d rather me sleep on the street because he is a shitty father and a diehard republican lacking empathy or compassion). I’ve been struggling my whole life, I treat people wonderfully and they all betray and abandon me. I can’t get a job and I will never be able to pay my debts short of a lottery win. I’m done.
Not all people will abandon you. You just haven’t met the right people yet.
37 years of life says otherwise. If I had real friends they would help me, as I’ve helped them. But they won’t. Because they all know I’m broken and they don’t want me around. I’m done.
Then find new friends. There are people who will truly care about you and want to help you.
More platitudes and simple answers. Gee, why didn’t I think of those things. Everything is fixed now, awesome.
Am not saying it’s necessarily simple. It takes work and time, but if you do this, you will find life is very good.
Tell you what, you find someone to give me 10 grand so I can stay afloat a few more months and I’ll reconsider. Otherwise, I’ve been down this road for years. Theres no way back up that is available to me.
You can go to governmental agencies that can help. Also, please talk to your dad. He wouldn’t want to see you go. Tell him what you are going through; it could help a lot.
No, there aren’t. I’ve looked. I’m not even eligible for unemployment.
My father knows exactly what I’m going through. He doesn’t care.
Look, life is not fair. Some people die. The couple people that this will upset will get over it. And in the long run, they’ll be better off. I’m dead weight dragging people down. Dead is preferable.
People will not be better off with you gone. You may think so now, but that is not true. I’m being entirely honest, life will get better, it may just take some time.
I’ve given it a decade. I’m no longer willing to go through an enormous amount of suffering so that a few people who don’t even talk to me that much can feel slightly better,
I’m not saying you should do it for them. you should do it for yourself because your life can get better.
Statistically unlikely.
It may feel very unlikely now, but there is a very good chance life will get better.
The exit bag/helium method isn’t as perfect as it sounds. I’ve tried and failed with it a number of times in the past two weeks.
I’m almost 42, I know what it’s like to feel hopeless, and I know the frustration of hearing pat answers and quick solutions from people who don’t understand. I don’t want to tell you what to do, but would it be helpful at all for you to talk about your situation or your feelings a little more here? Sometimes, that helps with giving clarity around the best choices for your life. Again, not trying to push, but a lot of folks here have been where you are and can offer empathy and a chance for you to be heard.
I just found your previous post. I know you’re overwhelmed, and rightfully so. On the one hand, I say “stick around a little longer,” yet it would be hypocritical for me to tell you not to do what I’m planning. I don’t know if he would, but maybe your dad would help if he knew how bad your situation is.
I don’t have all the answers, and I’m not going to pretend I do. I hope you find a reason and way to bounce back, but no matter what, I wish you peace.
@zebrasoul
You seem to be an understanding person. Can we chat? do you have messenger?
@rusty
I’d love to do it with you. I have been looking for a partner and i want to do it in the next few weeks to the latest. I can travel. Can you give me your email? where do you live?
Have my supplies. I’m going to give the helium bag one more try. Hopefully it works and I has a nice peaceful sendoff.
Partners are nice…I keep getting to freaked out that I’ll fail to go through with it. Getting stuck living, and with brain damage doesn’t sound very appealing
Rest in peace, Rusty. (1974 – 2011)
Rusty, did you really go?
How much helium do I need? I don’t have access to a lot of money. The bank never reissued my debit card. Where can I pick this stuff up cheap?