i don’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.
April 2011
I hate it, I HATE IT, when you’re trying to organize something, and people don’t tell you if they can come or not until the last fucking second.
I know this is kind of a stupid topic for a suicide forum, but hear me out. This is pissing me off for a long long time now.
I’ve been planning on doing this short film on youtube with a few people for like… literally a year now. It’s nothing much, just a 20 minute thing that will take only a day to film. But since I finished the fucking thing in august of last year, I’ve never been […]
Have you tried, are considering, or are just beginning to think about it….
I’ve tried once.
Took eleven Ambien.
Am still sort of thinking about it… nobody can tell me what to think, right?
I’m in here.
Can anybody see me?
Can anybody help?
I’m in here,
A prisoner of history.
Can anybody help?
Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to hold all of the sadness I can not…
Live with inside of me
I’m in here.
I’m trying to tell you something.
Can anybody help?
I’m in here.
I’m calling out but you cant hear.
Can anybody help?
Can you hear my call? Are you coming to get me now?
I’ve been waiting for you to come rescue me.
I need you to […]
absolutly the wrong name and worst name, but there we go, lol. i have been told mt feeling are all frm my relationships, and that it’s the loss alone…ALONE that has made me feel this way. and that if another girl comes along, no matter what id feel 10x better. this…an absolute lie!!! but i will humor this, if any females out there feeling as i do, would like to connect, email me apkelly187@live.co.uk. I’d gladly chat about your feeling and so forth, but would like to show, and to be honest this is to myself aswell as my friend, that a female in my […]
I have attempted suicide at least three times in life…mostly when I was going through those rough teen years. But at that time I believe it was a cry for help… I didnt understand why I was so sad all the time. Anyway time passed and now I am 26. I have been off and on anti-depressants and anxiety medicine…in and out of therapy…just a complete circus to fight off my feeling of emptiness and sadness. I must say I have been trying to fight the urges to end it all for a very long time ( 10 years). But just recently I realize my whole […]
But something is stopping me
ya i know its been awhile…. well i’m no better off than i was the last time i was on here.
The only good thing i haven’t killed myself. I havent been eating or taking my meds. My mom thinks I’m going to go mental. My boyfriend well he isn’t exactly in the loop. I hide it from him. It hurts so much not to tell him that im depressed. Idk what to do? Advice? I dont want to lose him but i dont want him to know that im depressed and that everytime he asks me whats wrong i always put up a front and […]
when you die what happens? is it jsut blacknesss or is there really a “heaven” and you see the ones that already passed before?? WHAT HAPPENDS?
A gunshot rips through the night,
It looks like he’s lost the fight,
The only thing he ever wondered:
What does it feel like to die?
You’ll find out soon enough, kid
Staring death in the eyes,
Wipe the tears from your face,
Will it help to say goodbye?
I’m sorry for this,
I’m sorry for that,
Will it even matter when it’s over?
Let your voice be heard
Through the blade, the bullet, the pill
Before she makes the cut
She’ll wonder what it feels like
For her life to slip away
Her soul weak and torn,
Can it be reborn?
Those eyes read like a book
Without […]
i ve always bein negative all my life but i dont know how i got so scared of everything i just want it to stop know i feel empty death lonely and i just want it to stopp.. i got no one to tell this to i cant open up to no one i cant do shitt to feel some relief i havent bein out of my room seens forever and i thought that if i didnt go out and i stayed in my room i would have the little of sanity i had left but i feel the same fear than when im in […]
People talking behind mine back.
I can hear their words
a mile away.
Mocking and laughing
it hurts to breath.
What did i do wrong
i can see your eyes piercing me.
Am i the freak that you can taunt
or am i just another victim.
Would anyone think this is bullying?
I dont want to be the center of attenion.
I dont want anyone’s attenion.
Why can’t they leave me alone?
Maybe if i die then you wont have to look at me.
But sadly i can’t
i made a promise i can’t break.
I was in my very first relationship, and things were so divine at first. He adored me, thought I was beautiful, and inspired me to see the good in life, and brought me such happiness. I grew to care about him so much, and became pretty close with his friends. I finally felt as if I belonged somewhere, and it was wonderful.
But then he started to really neglect me, and it really began to hurt me. He rarely contacted me throughout the day, and he hardly made time for me and him. After a while I felt as it I was prodding a dead corpse […]
For the past few days,
I’ve been feeling very weak..
I’ve been cutting a lot lately too..
And of course, Its because of that..
At the moment, I feel so strong.
Then after, it all comes crumbling down.
My ‘friends’ think its because lack of sleep, or something else like that..
It’s lack of blood.
Not lack of sleep.
i’ve been the same for 3 years. but now im determined there is no one in my life my parents can put the blame on, i’ve kept my space with my friends and i’ve been looking content outside. they expect me to graduate next month. but i failed so big. i fell short of their trust. i dont even have the courage or urge to make things right. i just dont belong to any future plans they have for me. i wont tell the hole story to rationalize why i will suicide. i love my parents i never had a bad experience with them they […]
How did this happen?
When did it all fall apart?
I had it all
the brains the grades
the friends the loves
had the goals and ambition
was on top of the world
ready for it all
then I stumbled
must of been a little pebble
a twig out of place
it tripped up my step
and dropped me all the way
and now I’m here
broken
broken beyond fixing
broken and too tired to fix
broken and alone
slowly dying
what happens when you die? is it just blackness like some people tell me or is there really a “heaven” and when you die you see your ones that has passed before you? not many people will mind when i die i mean nothing to no one…no one needs me around i would die right now if i could but im scared to see what the other side is and what might happen and if i do die my little cousin she looks up to me ive saved her once she almost killed her i was so scared that i lost her i didnt know […]
I’m only a teenager and I already hate my life.
I honestly believe everyone was born for a reason, and should stay alive for a reason. Not because of religious views, but because I saved my best friend from suicide 2 years ago, I think that’s why I was born. Although I’m not going to say I want to be alive. I’ve attempted suicide multiple times in the past, and honestly my view on it has changed, but there are times when something happens and those feelings come back. I personally hate myself, I know this isn’t the first time you’ve all heard that, but it’s […]