I understand what people were talking about when they said being forgotten hurts the most. I didn’t feel that way at first but I know that hurt I just didn’t want to believe that I had been forgotten. I have been trying so hard not to cut but this time I failed. They weren’t deep just surface skin. But I have accepted that my mother and father have no room in their lives for me anymore. I’m just a waste of space and they most likely wish that I was never born. I feel like the only time my father ever knows I’m around is […]
April 2011
Article & video:
http://www.bilerico.com/2011/04/transwoman_severely_beaten_at_baltimore_mcdonalds.php
How could they do that to someone? People are still so ignorant and hateful of things that are different and unknown. One of my best friends is transgendered, so this story is a lot more personal to me than for some other people. I hate how no one really tried to help her except for that one woman, and no one bothered to call the police till she was on the ground seizing!
Welcome to the future. I wish for the best, but look at all of the darkness we have…
Comments?
The only thing I want for my birthday,
Is a pocket knife.
And I wish it was for protection.
But, of course, its for cutting.. And hopefully suicide..
The thing is.. Most of my friends and family are most likely gonna get it for me.
I couldn’t be more thrilled and terrified.
I hate it here.
I can’t talk to my mother freely and if I go up to her while she’s just sitting there she always brushes me off or doesn’t respond. My grandmother is a callous and bitter. I’m afraid I’ll end up just like her. I don’t feel like I belong with my family at all. I stay in my room all day because I can’t stand being around them.
My boyfriend acts like he adores me and then he gets mad for no reason and I feel terrible. I always end up apologizing. I don’t want to break up with him because he’s […]
Today I felt out of place i felt mentally unstable im trying to push thru anxiety the panic the hand tremors that come but i constantly receive negativity thru ways that shouldn’t be expressed to me im 24 and know that i should just be able to deal and not worry about it but it bothers me im trying to make it in the world and i just wanna fell loved at times but negativity always seems to find me and when i fell low i do things out of spite to myself to make my self fell loved taking risk and living fake for […]
What is the best thing that I can do for a friend who is depressed?
Hey guys, It’s been a little while since I’ve been on last.. Today has been pretty rough on me and I’m so depressed I can’t eat or drink or anything without wanting to throw up. I’m weak and I haven’t even done anything.. I feel like my body is giving up, my mind already has.
So I haven’t posted a story or anything yet (That will come later) but I’m pretty damn sure ill be exiting within two weeks. I still need to gather materials and make my final arrangements (If anyone can help me make my helium exit bag I would be eternally grateful…) My problem right now is I don’t know what to do with my girlfriend and my family. My girl is actually outright asking if I’m okay… (we had a fight, so I think she just thinks its from that) and I’m sure my family is kind of picking up on my mood… How do I […]
I still love you, it’s been almost two years, and I’ve never, ever stopped waiting. I think I should. I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving you, But I have to go. Waiting, it’s done nothing but hurt me. I need to move on now, I can’t look back.
I hope you never come online again, because when you do, it just makes me fall all over again.
Sighs…
I’m going to my sisters funreal today… For people who dont know my sister passed away on Thursday. . .  und im not sure if i wanna go… I don’t want to see my sister in the ground, because its hard enough knowing she is gone… My mom is pushing me to go, a good way to say good bye… but… it really is hard…
Should I go?
i dont think that everyone on here realizes that this site has helped me out with the really tuff times everybody on here can relate and thts something u cant do on facebook or myspace or any other social network at that u cant post anything about death on those sites or else everybody starts flipping shit so i just wanna say thanks i think ive found my way c u when i get more problems but for now u wont c me for awhile bye sucide project until we meet again.
Ok sooooooooooo yea ive kinda changed i officially despise my mom god i wanna see her get run over by a fucking bus,i hate her boyfriend fuckin pedophile piece of shit one of these days im gonna pull the Lorena Bobbitt on your ass,im athiest now i say fuck someone you cant see not judgeing religeon and i figured out im bi ive told my parents but they tottaly think it’s a joke don’t be surprised if i bring a girl home!!!Ive thought about alot the past few months/weeks watever it has been if u think of it this way you know how people tell […]
Seriously you are a fucking troll. Like I’ve said before, and many people have said on these boards, your a troll!! No one can understand any of the shit you type on here let alone even when you try and argue, you sound like a complete dumbass cuz no one gets what your trying to say. I’m not the one to try and start shit but you start shit on hella other peoples posts leaving hurtful and hateful things.
Don’t expect people to have sympathy for you when you’ve been such a dick on here. And we all know that you have like […]
I’ve got every thing i need to exit should of done it yesterday but chicken out. Suicide tough even when you done. So what happen’s next.
If i lived it would never get better Allway’s feel this
So dose suicide make me a *****. Got the flat all day to my self monday.How will be judged i guess if there is a god. Im in the shit. Hey im not perfect who is. Im done.
I can’t fucking sleep. It’s 6 am here in california and I feel like I’m losing my mind. Ugh someone stab me and twist the knife around.
hey, i just wanna be here for anyone who wants to chat… if you’re feeling crap and just wanna rant, thats ok. I’m hoping I can save you and me at the same time. but if you’re in Australia, let me kno. hope everyone’s somewhat okay 🙁
My emotional pain is turning unintentionally physical.  When ever I think about how lonely I am, or about the girls I have crushes on, this short burst of pain flows through my bloodstream to my heart.  It happens like this.
“I wish she would like me”
+Shot of pain+
Nothing
“I wish someone loved me”
+Shot of pain+
Nothing
It doesn’t continue or happen long term, its just a quick burst after a sad thought. Â I haven’t self harmed but now I can’t help it.
I need medicine, a medicine called love, affection, human need.
I’m just so lonely. I honestly think that if I had people around, physical people to talk to, not that you guys aren’t great, I would be okay.
Went to BF’s work to recharge computers, hung out with Best Friend and watched “How to Train Your Dragon,” awesome movie btw. Came back to finish cleaning stuff up, had some Ramen, had one can of Cherry Coke today, which is a shock even to me. and mostly been doing nothing.
Why? Why does it always come down to this? Why do I feel regret when I tell myself I have none. Every day is a step backwards, a step towards the beginning and the end; or so I like to tell myself. There is no hope in this life for me. I will die and that is that. There is nothing here for me…nothing…nobody…not a solitary moment of true love and happiness for me to cherish. Perhaps that was my only real regret after all…not knowing whether such an emotion really exists in this world. I tried… I suppose. Regardless, I always knew this life […]