Archive for May, 2011

Can’t handle infirmity and pain that comes with age

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

  Life has been good to me in many ways and for the most part, I have really enjoyed my life and I am thankful for it. I rejoiced and thanked God when I could participate in physical activity: I enjoyed riding my bicycle, hiking and I was a good, I mean really good martial […]

My mask

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

This mask used to hide me, Save me from any hurt. Just smile and laugh, They’ll all go away. But slowly I died, Stopped trying at all, And now , This mask hides nothing. .

ugly fuck

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

mother just signed me up for modeling auditions. that bitch is mocking me. shes only doing it to fuck with my mind. i know im ugly as shit mom. no need for professionals to tell me. todays song of the day- ” i feel like im drowning in ice water my lips have turned a […]

Seeing Things

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

I been seeing things but they are not connected to strings. Every corner i turn it seems to burn. All the faces i see i feel like an escapee. There thoughts i can hear them loudly. Its hard to run away even when i pray. Their eyes they show a shadow if their past. Haunted […]

Freedom

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

Another old song I found, there seems to be an abundance. Do you think if I screamed That you would hear me? Do you think if I begged That you would set me free? If I gave you everything you wanted Would you ever be satisfied? Because sometime I’m not sure I’m granted Anything except […]

Always raining

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

it just feels like its one of those days when you were a kid and the day sucked because you couldn’t go outside because of  some stupid rain. and there was nothing you could do about it. the rain never seems to stop for me and i live in Florida. it 107 degrees out side […]

He’s not calling

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

So I tried to kill myself (with good reason) a couple months ago and this guy who’s been helping me get through stuff that I’ve known for over a year made me go to the hospital and it was traumatic hell and I’ve been more screwed up since then than I was before. I’ve only […]

Well

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

I’m sitting alone in my bedroom bringing myself to a conclusion and I feel like I want to break all my bones and tear open my skin. This is so chaotic and I can barely breathe, and I’m so PISSED off that I can’t just get it over with. I JUST WANT TO DO IT!

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

beaten and brused you left her to lay always she got back up with a smile a smile she used for so many things to hide everything and protect you to show everyone everything was “great” to make them think she was happy she hid all those scars, brusies and tears but now those tears […]

Clues to my past

Tuesday, May 31st, 2011

Was looking through some old stuff and found my old diary. Here’s some of my WAY old stuff, I guess I’ve always been depressing. Don’t read these if you want to read good poetry, I was very young when these were written. Here goes: I’m that sock. The one you left In your locker In […]