Can’t handle infirmity and pain that comes with age

May 31st, 2011by karate_dad

 

Life has been good to me in many ways and for the most part, I have really enjoyed my life and I am thankful for it. I rejoiced and thanked God when I could participate in physical activity: I enjoyed riding my bicycle, hiking and I was a good, I mean really good martial artist. In almost 35 years of working (post college) I have only had one week without income and my income has been by and large at least 2-3 times the average wage.  I have healthy children and 3/4 dozen grand kids. I have had the enjoyment or leaning many things, giving charitably and blessing those in need.

But, I can see life coming to an end, as it must for all of us. I am starting to suffer the infirmities of older age: I can no longer get my wind to hike up the mountains, I have painful sciatica and peripheral neuropathy: and much of the time all I can think about is the burning pain in my feet.  I will search for a medicinal answer to relieve the conditions as I LOVE life when I am healthy and physically fit: But should I not find an answer, I am going to take my own life. The approach would be something painless like a bleed-out (just fall asleep from the blood loss) and suffocation by helium inhalation or similar means.

My family will get my life insurance (the policies expire in 7 years) and I will be relieved of the physical pain and limitations that come with old age. Should I wait until my “natural” expiration, the policies will probably be expired and I will most likely be too physically infirm to even walk. I don’t know when that will occur, but I would guess within the next 5-6 years. I would expect that taking my own life would only shorten my life by 15 years or so…..and they are 15 year I do not wish to endure

Many folks value life for its own sake: I do not. being old, infirm and dependent on others is worse than death for me.  Eventually the neuropathy will lead to lack of coordination and probably the inability to walk.

Thanks for listening guys!

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