I’m so confused. So much contrast, one minute, I’m suicidal. I have that mind numbing panicky feeling, that terrifying, horrifying feeling. The next, I think I’m happy. But I still have that feeling in my stomach, that, clenched, tight, emotion.
I don’t know, maybe I’m too usd to the suffering. Or maybe my mind is trying to lull me into false hope.
Could my mind really be lying to me? Why would I lie to myself?