Loneliness

Well my friend, the only person who has the answer to your question is yourself. You’ve probably asked yourself many times before and replied but so far I think you’ve just been giving yourself the wrong answer. If you’re still here that means that suicide isn’t going to be the best choice, it’s the less complicated choice yeah, but in the end with suicide there’s never an answer. It’s just like closing a book you stopped reading after so many years have passed. Never finding out just what could have been.

I don’t know your age but by judging from what I’ve seen everyone else’s age to be I’m fairly certain you’re pretty young. And to me if you didn’t quit in the very beginning you’re not ready to quit now, at least that’s how I’ve seen things and that’s how I’ve lived this long as well. I know I can’t convince you to think otherwise most likely, just because someone says it’s not so bad doesn’t necessarily change the way we believe it to be in our own minds, so I’m not going to bother to throw out a meaningless, ‘you’ll be okay,’ like so many other people have done in older posts.

No, what I’m going to tell you is this; isn’t this just fun? I mean seriously, this is some fun shit brother. Who would want to miss out on this suffering? Some really beautiful outcomes come from tragedy, sorrow, pain, and suffering. I think it’s the way of human nature. We’re all in it for a ride, and if the ride wasn’t ever bumpy we wouldn’t ever have any challenges or satisfaction from this place, and then we could really be in some deep trouble when thinking about suicide. But in all seriousness, there’s never an end to our stories until there are no more pages left, and that’s not up for us to decide. Chance and faith are the equilibrium here. And the bad moments define who we are and make us more adaptable to people who really matter.

And I could say I know where you are coming from because I’ve been there but it wouldn’t be true. Sure I’ve thought the same thoughts as you but I would never understand what kind of hell you’re going through. We all have our own hells and I had gone through mine more than I’d like to say. But what I can say is that after going through hell and staring death in the face I always decided to see what’s behind death’s black curtain, if only to see a day when I can be truly content with myself for once. And even though that day may never come, to be honest it’s up to us to decide when we become content but I guess I’m just not ready for that yet, but I still like turning another page because the story I’m writing is a heart wrenching turmoil of beautiful mishaps and simple moments that really make everything worth it. And those moments are ours to decide what they are. Everyone has them and can have them, even yourself, so you can decide either which way. I won’t tell you what you can and cannot do but I can always show someone the alternatives in case they see some other path they would like to take instead.

So take this information as you will and do with it what you need to. Just remember that you’re the one in charge, you’re the only one that can judge here. And you don’t have to take other people’s shit if you really don’t want to. So make your choice, and walk down your path, but whatever it is you decide to do just make sure it’s powerful man. We are what we want to see in the world, and examples need to be set.

-Taurus