Ugh is suicide driving me to the edge. Did it just tied me up and push me off the cliff. Do i hate myself that bad that suicide is overpowering me. I crave the feeling of death. I crave the feeling that i wouldnt have to be here anymore. I know God wouldnt want this, but God doesnt know what i want. God doesnt understand how i feel. If Gid was so mightly he would had been there to help me conqure this. But where is her? Nowhere he is not here. They say he is everywhere. If he is everywhere he could help me make the right choice. Why am i wasting my time talking about him? I dont even know anymore. I dont know anything anymore. Suicide is really trying to kill me.
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I think about suicide everyday. If thoughts can kill, then I’m surely dead now. Him!? I don’t believe in Him long ago. I never did in the first place. Never there, never will be. All that’s left are only me and my thoughts. Really, if only sucide can kill me, I’ll believe in Him.