Viscious Circle

Seems like every day when you take 2 steps forward you get pushed back 4. Like a battle that can’t ever be won.
I look at my life and what I see is dead end, go nowhere same old crap.
-I’m 200 lBs overweight.
-My job seems Like every day could be the last.
-My fiancé lost her job again
-I’m 44 and my back is so bad I can hardly walk
-In middle of divorce that is a mess.
-I take Gabapentin for my leg and I’ve been addicted to it for 15 years.
-I owe the whole world $$ and am filing bankruptcy.
There’s more but that’s the jist.
The viscious circle is that when you feel like a tiny sliver of your life is getting under control more stuff goes spinning out of control.
I’ve often asked myself, “What
Exactly is there to look forward to in life?”. “Wearing diapers, crapping my pants, popping tons of pills and being
Miserable??? No thanks.
We all get up and go to work or school and
Pretend to care. For what? Really? For that 2 week vacation? Ok, sunsets are pretty. Is that worth all the crap we live with? I don’t think so.
I hope that the 2012 thing happens. I’m going out with a smile. I’ve seen what I want to see. I’m ready to
Check out. Peace