More shit..

I’m depressed again. So fucking depressed. My dad promised he would make my life as easy and simple as possible when we moved back to America, but it’s been hell. Nonstop work, devil cousins, more nonstop work, I wouldn’t even have time to cut myself if I was allowed to. My dad still makes me eat, and now I’m getting fat. And I hate myself even more. So soo much more. Why can’t he just fucking leave me alone?! And my sister still hates me for no reason. I’m so stressed about everything, sometimes I get heart attacks from it but no one cares. and it doesn’t really matter. eventually it goes away if I hold my breath for a couple minutes. Oh did I mention I hate myself? because I do. I want to live but I wanna commit suicide so badly:(