Well here goes…I am 14 yrs old and my birthday is in October.In my family its an accomplishment to not be pregnant.My mom had me when she was 14 and her mom had her when she was 15 and her mom had her when she was 16.So you see me not pregnant is just great.Im constantly looking for…love I guess…I just want somebody to need me and want me in their life…after all I was that close to being aborted.My mom says my dad raped her but he’s my dad…idk if I could believe he couuld do such a mean thing.When I was 8 I was raped so for that to be true would be heart breaking.Ive been cutting myself since then…pushing hard enough to feel the pain that I want to go away but not enough to die.Ive always wanted to die a peaceful death but I think about how….what would my suicide note say?would I even leave one?do I deserve a peaceful death?These are all the things that run through my head as I think about how disgusting I am…Im only 14 and ive willingly slept with 7 guys,one of them being my cousin.He wanted to so I jus said whatever…tryin to fill this…void…but it will remain there.I have even gone as far as sleep with my mom’s bf…she chose him over me when she let him back in after she found out…I was ready to leave this earth then but she stopped me…I can only imagine the greatness of death….until then im just still searching for something to make me feel better.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
5 comments
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=18Mb0fvp7Ls&feature
i understand your story… if you want to write to me I am at lance2005_lovato@hotmail.com mail me please under stand that their is a lot of beautiful things in this world that I can tell you about… trust me if you mail me I can solve a lot of your problems….
Lance
I can’t say i understand exactly what your going through. But i can relate to it. I was sexually molested a few times. And it was awful i felt scared and disgusted. And i’m sure thats how you may feel. I know that its hard and you may not care for what i have to say. But you have the ability to control how you feel if you change how you think. Stop feel like you have no worth because you do your young and you can change this before it gets too late. I was 8 wen i was first sexually molested and it almost got to the point of rape but thankfully it didnt get that far. Treat yourself and your body with respect because what your doing now to relief your pain will only make it worse that i can promise you. No one in this world is more important than you! Believe it you need to be there for yourself do therapy. I promise you from experience that when you stand up for yourself it feels amazing and the pain isnt as bad. So dont ever let someone tell you your worthless or anything like that. You need to know that just because they say it doesnt make it true.
Nothing I ever try works…im just meant to be miserable
My birthday’s in October 🙂 I’ll turn 14 ^_^ I was ‘raped’ as such when I was in year 1, by a girl in my class. she did this year 1/2/3 then I moved schools and started again in year 5 and went till year 6. The last two years were the worst, I had developed by then (boobs period etc.) and the girl put things in me. </3 I started cutting when I was 8, and drinking when I was 10. My boyfriends helping me to stop cutting, which is awesome! I just wish I could </3 I under stand how you feel, and believe it or not? Therepy didn't help me. Try it, see if it works, if it doesn't, it doesn't.