I woke up still drunk from the night before. I was wearing my coworker’s name tag on the shirt I’d worn the day before and wasn’t wearing much else. “Oh, great, not again.” I didn’t remember much past nine p.m. the night before, but I know I’d eaten fish tacos. I was supposed to be at work within the hour and I knew the day was going to be hell.
It was eight a.m. and I was still drunk. The bad kind of drunk that didn’t feel good. But no kind of drunk was really […]
August 2011
It’s been pointed out that if you’ve sat though over a half a movie and it’s sucked the whole time, the chances are it’s not going to get any better right before the end…
Well, I’m now 42. I’ve battled depression nearly as far back as I can remember. Two suicide attempts previously, tried anti-depressants and therapy on a couple of occassions (different therapists each time)Â which I will never try again. I always left feeling like a walking raw nerve, more depressed than before the session and even extremely agitated. Never again.
So now I have no job, no job prospects as I am completely unqualified […]
Peace was stolen from me and life was forced upon me Jan 13th 1972… The result of a lunchtime accident… My Dad was in a popular band and a mean drunk’n drug addicted ass. My mom was a doormat… The molestation began when I was 4 and went on for several years by a family friend… I was a child porn star… I remember running around my dads parties drink the drinks people would leave unattended… I took my first hit of weed in kindergarten… I had 2 older brothers.. My dad would beat us with jump ropes, fists and bang our heads together or […]
Blank blank blank, is all that I see everywhere. No point of anything. Just a repeated cycle that goes on and goes on til the end of everything. Exsisting?, what does it mean? How does it feel to not exsist? There is no meaning to anything anymore, nothing nothing nothing at alll.
im damion ive had a problem with meth and heroin since i was 12 im 16 now and finally sober for over 100 days but the drugs left me in a horrible depression and i have girl troubles i think really bad about my self and i have been thinking that suicide seems like a great option lately i cant get it out of my head and it sucks many of my friends have overdosed and died because of drugs and it hurts the drugs numbed that hurt but now im feeling it and i sucks i know i should just deal with it but […]
I feel like shit all the time. Â My back hurts all of the time, and for the past few days my stomachs been sick and I feel like I’m gonna vomit everywhere.
Besides that I have to go register at school tomorrow and try and fix my schedule so I dont have to take a floral design class. Â I dont look forward to this school year, Im just going to have to be around (for the most part) stupid fucking rednecks.
And every year before school I tell myself something might get better, maybe a new girl might move here and she might like me, but I […]
I keep trying to write a post on here, but nothing ever seems to come out right.
I’ve been deteriorating rapidly–Friday I got in an argument with my mom, and I went to the kitchen to grab a lighter and burn myself like I do sometimes–but then I heard the garage opening, meaning my dad was home–so I put the lighter in my pocket and grabbed a knife, did what I needed to do, and placed it in the sink and ran up to my room before he saw that I was awake. I have three gashes on my left calf, and two on my left […]
its been a couple of months since i last wrote something, i wish i could say im better but i am worse. i went on a two week vacation in july. .I had a great time, i met a guy, i fell in love with him, but i cant be with him. im back home with my mom and stepdad. The first week back was hell, everytime i turned around i was being bitched at for no reason. I finally got fed up, i took the box knife that was just sitting there out in the open the blade was glinting in the light,i took […]
I am 17 years old and a lesbian. I have to deal with religious assholes saying I’ll burn in hell and adults who assume I’m some kind of pervert. I don’t understand how a drug addict who beats his wife (but goes to church) can go to heaven (“cuz the poor dear can’t control himself”) but I get to rot in hell for falling in love with another girl.
At home I’m in the closet, if I came out to my family my dad would probably kill me(and I don’t mean figuratively). My dad is extremely homophobic, and has that “God hates fags” attitude. […]
I can’t get him out of my head.
This guy, I met him in my youth group.
& he is actually my age.
I have his number, buy his phone had been disconnected for the longest time.
And, he moved.
But as much as I try to get him out of my head, it just doesn’t work.
Its tearing be apart.
When I talked to him, I felt..
Balanced, normal, he made me feel, there.
I need him.
But, I have no way to talk to him.
Great.
I am 19, I have always been bright and good looking and have never been socially rejected throughout my life i have attended parties enjoyed social occasions and loved spending time with friends. However, inside of me i have always felt alone and weird. i feel like nobody really likes me, and looking at my behavior over the years i’m not surprised as to why. I have bitched about friends behind their backs, lied, been confrontational when drunk and agressive to those who care about me. i never know why, i always feel like there is no point in living, i dont feel alive. i […]
It’s been so long since I posted, I actually don’t know what to write. I am assuming that’s a good thing. Things aren’t as bad as they could be and I think that’s something I should be thankful for.
It is really lonely though. I have tried to reach out to a couple of friends, not about being depressed or suicidal as such, just for company and I guess everyone else has lives and things to do. I understand that.
I hope that wherever you are.. that you aren’t as lonely as I am.
I hate the truth.I never want to have to face it.I know I’m depressed,I know I cry for no reason.I can’t enjoy the things I used with sadness.I think I was born to die.So as of now I have a week and 3 days to live
My mum yelled at me today and screamed at me, telling me I was disrespectful, the biggest ***** and all sort of other crap. She came right up to my face and as she screamed “Fuck off!” to me she spat on me. She told me she wanted to move out, and I told her to go ahead, “what’s keeping you?”
I hate her. Nothing is ever her fault, it’s always my fault or my sister’s.
I hope she will move out.
Im 23 now and I tried to kill myself when I was 20 years old on July 30 2008. It was a Wednesday and I had just got home from fishing with my friend. I’m going to give a little background of me so you can get an idea of why I would do such a thing, and you can decide for yourself whether its worth it… My entire life, ever since I can remember, my mother had been extremely abusive. At age 3 getting beaten and thrown down the stairs of  our 4 floor house was a regular. She had ways of putting fear […]
The help from people is very pain emotionally. I dont get why they would even want to try. Its pointless and a waste of time. It pisses me off at times when people do try to help. Although i was looking for it before, but know i just dont want it. Its like a scare emotion inflicted on your skin. I just want to die so i dont have to worry about life anymore. That i dont need people helping me out anymore. Only one thing is holding me back from offinf myself. I dont know what he sees in me anymore. I dont want […]