It’s the first day of school, I’ve mentioned this. Guess what, it’s also my birthday. I’m 16.
When I woke up this morning (and especially in the shower) the signifigance of turning another year older hit me, because 15 was a shitty year for me. Just about everything tragic and bad in my teenage life happened over the course of 12 months, I’m glad to be putting that behind me. Last night, when I couldn’t sleep, I listened to some songs I played during the winter my ex dumped me, they reminded me (first, how much I love winter as opposed to summer, and) about all the good things I took for granted when we had a good thing going.
I think that’s a given, that you’ll never truly appreciate something until it’s gone. That’s what I find, anyway. Regardless, remembering all the loneliness and desperation, especially the scene of me on a cold winter afternoon going home on the bus, listening to Stars and bawling my eyes out under my hoodie, and letting it all go.* I’m 16 now, it’s a whole new year of school, I’m ready to begin again.
I’ve at least learned this: If you’re grieving over loss, if someone’s broken up with you or something tragic has happened, you will, WILL, get over it eventually. You’ll never feel the same, but you’ll be over it at least. Don’t expect those tears to shed forever. Find someone who genuinely cares about you and pour out your emotions on them. Find something to believe in, or someone who believes in you. You’ll be okay, I promise.
Anyway, happy birthday to me. I’d like to point out how much I love every last one of you on SP, and thank you all for the support in the last year. Here’s to another school year, and changes! <3
*AW SHIT, LINKIN PARK UP IN THIS BITCH