well now i could use some help

October 31st, 2011 by lowlifefather

So i actually wrote a suicide note and drove to the middle of nowhere but i didn’t go through with it. i love my children too much to leave them alone in this horrible world so maybe after I’ve raised them i can finally bring myself to end all of my suffering. or maybe not i don’t want to really end my life but to search through it, i don’t find anything good enough to keep slave driving myself for any of my dreams because everyone i love interferes with any and every dream hope and aspiration i have had it like if I’m happy they cant be. I don’t know how to advance in my life’s dream if everybody in my family purposely interfere with it all. do i end my life with my children. my adopted son my 3 teenage daughters or do i do?? i just don’t know any advice i would appreciate because i cant turn to family so i guess i turn some where before i just lose my mind which is barley with me rite now

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6 Responses to “well now i could use some help”

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  1. Have you ever sought out proffessional help ? Most states or locak governments can get you access to a psych clinic and pay on a sliding scale.
    Life can be very overwhelming at times.
    Have you ever said the Acceptence prayer when your down, I’m not promoting any faith. I mentioning it because millions of people use it. “God grant me the serenity to accept things I cannot change, the strength to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
    You may want to search out a minister, rabbi, or priest, they tend to have alot of wisdom and are willing to listen.

  2. I reckon you should fine someone to talk to about why and what is really going on, get some help a doctor or something- try that whole praying shit if you like, but even if you do the whole faith stuff, dont forget to actually find a real person, and talk to someone real – who really can help. you got enough problems as it is like, – just saying,

  3. @lowlifefather
    I have a very similar plan as you do. All I feel I have in this world is my 11 year old brother. He lives with our mom and sister and is neglected constantly so I’ve made it my machine to see that he grows up right. My plan was to end myself once I felt that he could take care of himself, but the days are becoming unbearably hard and using him as my motivation just isn’t enough.

    We can devote our time to others, but at the end of the day, we need something for ourselves to keep going. We need some hope that our own lives aren’t a complete waste, because that’s the way I feel now(and I suspect you do to). What do you do when the kids aren’t there to support and love? That’s the time that needs to be filled; that’s the time that’s killing you.

  4. So you have a choice: either follow your own dream and run away from you family if they are interfering with that, or keep slave driving yourself and stay with your family. Your choice. But you don’t have to end it.

  5. I don’t advise leaving your children. My dad left because he fuckin hated us and your kids might get that impression from you

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