Why Is My Life So Fucked Up?

November 30th, 2011by bah

All I wanted was to be normal, to have a happy and peaceful life, to love and be loved.  That’s all I ask for.  Apparently that’s just too much.

After 31 years, my life hasn’t gotten any better–in fact, it’s gotten multitudes worse.  I’m even more messed up, completely broken on the inside and unable to cope with life.

Is life a cruel joke?  It probably is.

Is life unfair?  Oh it most certainly is.  And I definitely got the short end of the stick.

Will I ever feel fine?  Will I ever be able be at ease and enjoy life?   At this moment, I feel hopeless, in despair.  Will things ever get better?  If it hasn’t by now, what makes me think it ever will??

I just don’t have any confidence that I will be able to “fix” my life, and to “fix” myself.  Haven’t been able to do it so far, only been dragging myself further and further down the depths of mental instability…

My life has been fucked up ever since I was 7.  I worked hard to get through it, I even had hope back then.  But now, after 24 whole goddamn years of absolute pain and agony, I haven’t gotten better, but I have gotten worse.

Help.

Who will help me?

I know- I am alone in this world.  No one gives a crap about me.

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