8

Helium

January 31st, 2012by letmedie

I’m 34 and have been suffering from depression for at least 17 years and ADHD since I was a child. My mother didn’t like how I reacted to Ritalin as a child so the ADHD was left untreated until I was prescribed Adderall about 5 years ago. The difference in output and energy was night and day but the depression continued to lurk under the covers despite having tried many medications over the years (Effexor, Prozac, Paxil, Welbutrin, and finally Citilopram). I racked up enormous student loans over the years and other debts that I realize are attributed to Bipolar manic phases. A major life …

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3

:/

January 31st, 2012by silentalice

I don’t know what to do anymore. My home life is terrible. Therapy isn’t helping. I’m never happy. I’m always alone. All of my friends leave when I need them the most. I don’t want to die. I just don’t want to be here anymore.

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28

Starvinq!

January 31st, 2012by lifeishorrible

I decided yesterdaythat I need to practice beinq hunry cause I plan to runaway when I have enouqh money to by a bus ticket.I’m a veqetarian and yesterday I went over to my friend’s house,he was qrillinq hamburqers.I was starvinq s bad that I would’t ate three burqers!!Instead I went home to eta my face off!I felt bad.I started not eatinq aqain,different reason now.I said to myself why don’t I starve my self to death!qood Idea huh?I’m kinda happy that If I continue this Ill be qone:)but damn I’m starvinq,this Is hard!I want pizza and hot fries so feakinq bad!What do yall think?Is this Is …

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14

I’m fighting..

January 31st, 2012by rawrimaturtle..

I’m fighting to try not to cut, tho i hurt so much!

i don’t want to cut. i really don’t. but its so hard. and its probably helping that I’m not clue to any scissors right now. but later tonight i will be.. and i don’t know if i will be able to handle it… sometimes I’m glad I’m lazy…. but gosh i want to cut myself… i want the pain of my heart be pushed away with the pain of the cut…

 

:(

-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle

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6

What was I thinking?

January 31st, 2012by Voxpendragon

I was approached today by a friend about her supicion I was thinking about self termination. She lost her first husband to suicide and does volunter work for a prevention hotline a couple nights a month. I guess I was an easy read for her. It caught me off guard damn it and I stumbled. I confessed. What a stupid idiot I am. How could I have been so inept and careless!! It was a foolish liability to give away my desire/need. I hindered the time I had planned to make it so, by self sabatage. She offered to drive me to a hospital, like i would let that happen again. I …

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8

Chickened out.

January 31st, 2012by Jamie-S11

I was very close to finally doing it last night. I was all set to go then I couldn’t get my mum out my head. I can’t fucking do it! I chickened out because I can’t leave her on her own. People on this site with no family ties are so lucky! I can’t go on living but I can’t die either. I so badly need someone to talk to in person, and I don’t mean a therapist who’s only there for the pay, I mean someone like me who feels the way I do! Life is just so fucking unbearable and I can’t take …

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4

i hate boys!

January 31st, 2012by lonelygurl

a guy just asked my out then a week later he dumped me:'(. i really liked this guy maybe even loved but we never talked in person that much because my stupid so called friends always push me shove me and scream at me to talk to him. but id rather talk to him alone and then after this his stupid friend dumped me for him before he could do it himself. Now hes mad at me and i sit beside him in class :(

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8

just something i read…..

January 31st, 2012by chrissie

Sometimes God doesn’t change your situation cause he’s trying to change your heart.

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4

A Different Perspective

January 31st, 2012by EdwardH

I just stumbled across this site and skimmed some posts and comments and a lot of it seemed so familiar. The issues as well as the advice. Personally, I never found certain kinds of advice helpful but I will refrain from pointing out specific ones and instead just share my story and hope it will help people who are tired of the same old cliched phrases. If not… I think Doug Stanhope is absolutely right when he says (paraphrasing): “Life is like a movie. If it is shitty every step of the way, you shouldn’t blame somebody for walking out early.”

And I am going to …

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39

Nitrogen Exit Bag??

January 31st, 2012by JakeWantsToSmile

This is my first posting on here.. Oh wow, I don’t even know where or how to start. Just gonna wing it..

I am 26 years old and living a miserable life inside my miserable home in miserable Phoenix, AZ. Actually I have been very fortunate.. I have a great family and they may be, in part, why I am still here. My parents have given me all the tools I could ever want to succeed in life, but I do nothing except throw them out the window it seems. Anyway, amidst some legal trouble, relationship trouble, unemployment trouble, and really just troubles in life, …

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10

Oral report.

January 31st, 2012by rawrimaturtle..

today i had my oral report :) it went pretty good. no one asked questions or anything. but my face didn’t get all red like usual.  it was easy (ish)  haha.

well yesterday i got my friend to draw a butterfly on my leg (where i cut) hopefully you all know what the butterfly project is. and i haven’t cut in 3 days :) I’m kinda proud of myself.

 

-Morgan………….RawrIamTurtle

 

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2

A new start?

January 31st, 2012by taintedsoul

ight as well start with a smiling face because im pretty sure i wont end the journal with it once ive finished writing all this , well as the title says where to begin , i guess i should start with positive , i managed to draw Ezio Auditore de firenze  even though i think i messed up slightly with the face and hands , but nobodys perfect , at least now i know what to work on which is a positive XD ……trying to think what else is positive , well ive got my birthday in 11 months lol but its going to be …

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3

happiness, my desired happiness, not so far away–

January 31st, 2012by Evariste

My psychologist says that use of escape mechanisms and mental painkillers makes me dependent on them and sensitive to pain, just the like people who use aspirins and conventional analgesics to deal with everyday pains become even more sensitive to the everyday pains of life. His recommendation is that “you just have to feel it sometimes”.

But mental painkillers are just so addictive. Thoughts of suicide are just sooo addictive, and comforting…well here is one of my painkillers, a cover of a popular Chinese song.

my desired happiness

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3

January 31st, 2012by polo

My husband and I moved to this new country for his work, and I’ve never been lonelier.  I’m not legally allowed to work and so I try to fill my days with menial tasks and errands, and I might see 1,000 people in the course of the day, but really interact with none.  My husband commutes a fair distance and works long hours on top of that, and of course when he comes home he wants to relax, or sleep, or spend time pursuing solo interests.

I’m not asking for pity, but for a favor:  Please say hi to a stranger when you’re out today.  Talk …

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3

Why am I still here ??

January 31st, 2012by Littlesis723

So i have been having horriable thoughts lately and i am not sure i want them be real ..people treat me like crap and i can’t pretend its ok all the time. it bothers me all the time. i can’t stay here. my ex is engaged ..  i loved him more than anyone .. and he let his fiance talk down to me .. ive been talked down to my whole life.. i can’t keep being a push over .. i know that im not pretty .. im not skinny … im not good enough for anyone .. all my friends are happy .. my

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1

How Tragic.

January 31st, 2012by Scissorhands

I’m the type of person who is happy go lucky… So to speak. I’ve been blessed with the gift of making others laugh… It feels good, mostly. The problem with having that trait is people always expect you to make them laugh… You can never be serious, the biggest problem I’m facing as of late… People think I’m dumb… That hurts. I give so many people my time and try to make them feel good for the time they’re around me… And I’m dumb… No one realises that I’m actually pretty smart, because the second I’m not making people laugh I am tuned out. No …

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2

wastegawd

January 31st, 2012by tphg

back again, like I could ever leave this place. My sober side want’s to quit but my high side wants to try. I’ve been tired of drugs, but they keep me around. I really am well adjusted, just so fricken lazy. I feel like something else; I don’t want to be human. This life seems so stupid and it’s so long, every day all day, living breathing. Everything is so tiring. I’m afraid to stop taking drugs because then I might kill myself, and I won’t get to play with the playdough that is my life.

I have moments where I enjoy things but rarely when …

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2

Time to go

January 31st, 2012by jg1981

Hi, anybody who reads this

It’s time to end this. I perhaps just want to share with someone out there something of the story of my life so that I know that I’ve perhaps got it out to someone.

Born in 1981 to a couple who perhaps should never have been – one good-looking, intelligent but obviously mentally unhealthy, the other with a physical (skin) ‘deformity’ rendering her unattractive to most – but together they came, and through whom three other lives came into this world (one, the last one – my younger sister – apparently ‘not planned for’ (seems absurd that _I_ was actually ‘planned …

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2

Our storie

January 31st, 2012by Schneiderang

Hey everyone.  If you have read my post i then you will know alot about me if not then here it is i cut and burn, and suicide thoughts cross my mind alot. But today i want to  hear your guys stories. I am doing a video for my school to share about how suicide efffects peoples lifes everyday. And i want your stories. If you would be willing to make a short more about what your going through or what you went through, how cutting burning or suicidee effected you or how its affecting you now> i would love to share and impact my …

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1

What should I do?

January 31st, 2012by shtbnhk

I keep starting and deleting everything I write. I try and articulate how I’m feeling and what I feel I need to do but I just can’t. It’s not so much that I’m insecure, mostly just that everything I try to explain doesn’t come out right. Writing has never really been my strong point. I really need someone to talk to but there really isn’t anyone here (not the site but where I live). I tried to open up to my mom but she’s was so oblivious to what I was trying to tell her. And I can’t really blame her because she is going …

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