I’m fighting..

January 31st, 2012 by rawrimaturtle..

I’m fighting to try not to cut, tho i hurt so much!

i don’t want to cut. i really don’t. but its so hard. and its probably helping that I’m not clue to any scissors right now. but later tonight i will be.. and i don’t know if i will be able to handle it… sometimes I’m glad I’m lazy…. but gosh i want to cut myself… i want the pain of my heart be pushed away with the pain of the cut…

 

:(

-Morgan…..RawrImaTurtle

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14 Responses to “I’m fighting..”

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  1. Come on. It doesn’t really help, not for long. Can you punch something instead?

    • I didn’t cut. But I almost did. Gosh Im hurting more than usual….

  2. Hey Morgan,
    Here right now….here later on….we’re here….wanna talk?

    You are Loved
    Amakua

  3. seriously Morgan,
    why so yucky today? why are you hurting more than usual? any ideas?

    Amakua

    • Im not really sure.. It might be becuz I’m losing someone I really love…

  4. Hey Hun,
    Please tell me what’s going on? If you would like you can e-mail me….if it is personal…..my e-mail is my user name followed by at hotmail.ca…..but either way I am listening. I don’t know if you remember…but I lost 2 friends myself just recently. I also understand there is more than one way to lose someone….but grief is grief….would like to help. I’ve grieved for days after running over a squirrel that ran under my car….not even my fault….but loss is loss no matter how big or small….and it all has to be dealt with…hopefully with understanding.

    I’m here and so are all the others
    Amakua

    • @amakua
      well theres this friend.. and me and him have gotten really close…. and I’ve even started having STRONG feelings for him…. but now i think I’m going to lose him, or at least lose how clue we use to be…

  5. Yah, I had a netherland dwarf rabbit called Phoebe. No one could quite understand why I bought a ornamental rabbit statue and lay her to rest underneath it but to me it was a loss. I like animals better than people. They accept me as one of their own.

  6. Honey,
    I am sooo sorry…but unfortunately loss is part of life…it’s how we learn to accept it and deal with it that defines us as adults. You’re not supposed to get it all yet…right now your feelings in general confuse you. That is normal…but because you are extremely sensitive and intelligent…a thinker…a feeler….this makes it more difficult for you and many others. That is all. But it can get better.
    You will experience those strong feelings for another…and another…and the feelings get stronger and stronger…but the first few times are the hardest. None of us are promised eternal life in this world…so we all have to go some day…but does that mean we should never care about another person if we are just going to lose them?….nope….”Tis better to have loved and lost, then to never have loved at all.” That is what that means. And each time a special person comes into our lives….it is for a season or a reason….some of the people we bond with are only with us for a short while….so take the best….leave the rest…and learn about you and your emotions….and how to control them…instead of them controlling you.

    That being said….it isn’t over until the fat lady sings…..and I hope you don’t lose the connection with your friend even if the closeness….that could always come back….I mean what kinda issues is your friend dealing with?…maybe it’s not you but him….just be supportive and kind….and it will all work out in the end. Maybe you think you did or said something to upset him…but I doubt it. Can you cry?….me I like to scream the pain out….but if you have neighbours….put your face in the pillow first….lol…you don’t want the police to interrupt your party eh? But what you are feeling is normal….it is called grief.

    Please be kind to yourself…you deserve it
    Lots of Love
    Amakua

    • Thank you.. And I know the reason why I might be losing him… But I can’t really tell anyone… And yes I cry more than anyone I know. Lol and I scream (into my pillow) when I’m home alone.

  7. Hey do you remember me sayinq

    Hey I love your name!haha

  8. Kinda wish I came up with that expect mine would be rawrImabird haha

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