Ok..my day was going good, until I walked into a restaurant and saw my ex husbands family. It shouldn’t bother me, knowing they were not the ones hurting me..but of course it still ruined my day. I know in my heart that ive loved all I can..tried the best I can so why can I not get over the feeling of betrayel and sadness. Ive worked all my life..never went on vacation unless I paid for it myself. Took my ex a few places..even out of the country but he never wanted to take his family anywhere..including mcdonalds. His girlfriend and him would keep me prisoner in his home..would laugh about not giving us any food for dinner. He made it clear he wanted nothing to do with us..beat me in the bathroom..wouldn’t allow me to call for help..blood all over the floor, black eye. He had his buddy come over and they would pin me down acting like they were going to rape me. Yes, both of them..touching me all over with me screaming and telling them to stop. Yes, all this happened with my kids upstairs asleep. If I could just get over the pain..but how to live the rest of my life knowing I cant live alone because ive been raped in my past. I cant live with another man cause I’m scared of them..but I want to be protected. Even cops can be terriffying though. When I had a home, a job and noone else in my life..I lived with no fear and completely happy. Then I got married to share my happiness and he took every happiness away from me. Now I’m homeless with 3 kids and the only people I have in my life is my parents. I really hate men and I’m not attracted to women so I need to know how to get over all the pain. Help….
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