So i have been having horriable thoughts lately and i am not sure i want them be real ..people treat me like crap and i can’t pretend its ok all the time. it bothers me all the time. i can’t stay here. my ex is engaged .. i loved him more than anyone .. and he let his fiance talk down to me .. ive been talked down to my whole life.. i can’t keep being a push over .. i know that im not pretty .. im not skinny … im not good enough for anyone .. all my friends are happy .. my family is happy .. except me … i will never be happy .. i cant be happy in my life .. people look at me like im the biggest loser in school. when im really not but i think if i left this world it would make it so much better .. i dont cut or burn or anything like that because my parents are so close with me but .. i dont them see me so unhappy. only at school is where i can express my feelings .. by crying . when i cry i feel like im venting … but nick my ex was the best thing i could ever get . and i was dumb and lost him . ive wanted to try drugs drinking and smoking .. but im scared .. i dont want to get addicted..i dont think i can stand here much longer .. i need to get rid of this life.. i cant stay here hopeing that i can be happy .. i wont be happy … i pretty much cry my self to sleep everynite .. i dont let my teachers see me sad because they will send me to my counsler and they will call my parents if they read this they will be sad and send me somwhere to get help … that is the last thing i want to happen to me .. i want to end life durring this summer .. or be killed in sad car crash or be shot .. anything than being here ..Nick is my everything and he wouldnt care if i died .. maybe i should … i love nick too much to give up on him… but im waiting till summer or next fall to completely give up and let life say goodbye for good .. my friends say they would miss me but it is kinda hard to believe them when they talk bout me.. i seriuosly need help .. my mind is soooo messed up .. all i think about is suicide… or getting killed … or being beaten to death… but ill write when i can.. i promise that i will keep living till the lord lets me go… which wont be for a while…
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Hey, I couldn’t help reading what you wrote. It’s not really why I’m here, I just wanted to give you a bit of advice. I’m way older. 32.
Let me tell you.. Believe it or not life changes so much after school. You get through school, go to college if you are interested… Better yet. Take a year off and find some stuff in life that interests you. Speak to the right people, try meds if nothing else does the trick..
Believe me.. School can be the bloody cruelest place on earth if you are going through problems. Mine started at the end of school.. Year 11 and I couldn’t continue.. Have had depression, pain, physical pain and more physical and mental pain..
Mentally I’ve been in places that have made me want to die… Thinking that there is no way things can change… But they did… I ended up doing things I never thought possible.. Life changed for a while, ended up on meds for depression which helped like I never thought possible.. Then the Physical problems started.. No escape from physical pain… So many years of physical pain causing mental pain so badly..That I can’t change..
FYI. I look around. All the people that were having the hardest times at school.. Suicidal and weird or the least bit different, are the ones doing the best in the real world.
So anyway.. I hope my words help you make a more informed decision. I wouldn’t have wasted my time otherwise!
Anyhow… All the best and I hope things turn around for you. Don’t judge the world by how you are at school. And if you get along with your family that is a real big help!!!
All the best,
DJ.
So, ill try to relate. Theres this guy named austin i am head over heels for him. he currently hates me. And i know the feeling all you want to do is die. it feels right? I think about death every day. But just so you know. Death soloves one thing. You wont deal with the pain anymore. But He willl win if you died. i guess i have more to say.. but schools out so emil me sometime
schneiderang@apsfalcons.net
Hey sis can i give you a big hug? You’re doing very well at the moment at coping so you should give yourself some credit. Life isn’t easy and has never been easy but you have to move forward, if not time will leave you behind and when you wake up you’ll be in a worse position they you’re in. Sweety if he loved you he would have married you not her. Be thankful that you don’t have to put up with someone so bad. You’ve been saved by not taking that mistake. I know it hurts, but would you rather you suffered more later when it was too late?
I’m proud of you for not actually killing yourself. Thoughts and actions are two different things. Things get better if you let them
As for whether you good enough you are good enough. Why because you have managed so well As I’ve said you’ve been saved my life from making a mistake, don’t make suicide another. You should try and move on. Some main things to do are keep busy, hobbies are usually good, from overworking, musical instruments, learning, reading etc. You could even write a diary. I’m pretty sure you also want to talk to someone so a psychiatrist might be for you.
Take Care Sis