lonely.

I’m in a strange mood.  I would almost say a good mood, but I feel that’s misleading. It’s not that my suicidal desires are gone, but that they’re simply pushed back in my mind.  I know it’s a bad idea to self-diagnose, but moods like this make me wonder if I could be bipolar.  I feel like my current mood could be described as a hypomanic episode.  For instance, even though I only had maybe four hours of sleep last night, I feel energetic. I want to go out and do something.  If I had friends I’d call them up and maybe we’d go to a bar and get silly drunk and maybe I’d even flirt with some cute girl.  But, sadly, I don’t have any friends to call.  So I guess a bottle of vodka will have to be my friend for the night.