No one gives a shit about me
No one knows
They wouldn’t understand
They won’t even know when I’m gone
No one wants to help me
I just can’t talk to anyone
I can’t ask for help
Is this you?
Do you feel cutoff, alone, separate from the rest?
But It’s not you, really it isn’t.
You are not a bad person, you did not cause everyone to hate you and ignore you.
(I can hear your self talk cutting in now, please read my post called the Voice)
It’s a symptom of a condition.
You may have little control over the condition and it’s symptoms and you may need help to cope but you must realize that it’s not you, it’s something that’s happening to you.
The condition is depression and one of its symptoms is this strong feeling of disconnect from the world;
THE BLACK VELVET CURTAIN
It’s sad because feeling trapped behind the Curtain makes it hard for you to reach out and get the help you need.
It makes it hard to find friends, to find love.
Your path to healing must include ways to get out of this Black Curtain, to get help, even just a caring Mentor to listen without judgement.
Next time you feel like cutting or even just need to stop the Voices in your head try calling a suicide prevention line.
Ask them if they will listen.
Ask them if they will keep your secret.
Learn to trust at least one person on the phone.
Eventually you may be able to find one person in real life to talk too.
Not a lover who could be scared away but someone who stays.
Someone with strong boundaries who can listen without judgement;
Why is this so important?
Because you are much more valuable than you know.
Much more valuable than even I can tell you.
Much more valuable than you feel.
(don’t believe me do you, please read my post the Children of Earth)
This post, and my two previous posts are the beginning of the Circle Path.
The road to healing begins anywhere in the Circle and takes you by way of Pointers to the place you can look for an end to suffering,
to look for peace,
to look inside.