It’s 1:17 Am… My heart is acting up again…. feels almost like it’s skipping a beat… like its going irregular. Then its okay…Just another thing to add to that feeling of death or dying inside me. I am not living, and as far as I can tell… I am doomed to an early death anyways. Tonight i will close my eyes, and in the darkness i will wish to never awake from my slumber, for tomorrow is not something i want to see anymore. .
May 2012
I was just wondering, about certain people who hurts us so much, never appreciated us, took revenge on us for some reason, never bothered helping us when we’re in need of something, but we never failed helping them for anything, and so on.. would just get all the best things in the world. In fact, i personally felt like I am a loser because I have always been good to everyone, but people who never been good to me are in a good position in life, but I’m not. I heard somewhere saying that we need to do good deeds to become a good person. […]
So many times, i have wondered, what is the meaning of life?Â
Is it to be happy?
To find love?
To make a difference?
To experience new things?
Because I’m already 15 and felt like I’ve wasted a quarter of my life.Â
So much pressure is put on exceling in academics, but what’s the point? It feels as if everyday, the only purpose of life is to do well in every test in order to get a good job. It’s as if our lives are based soley on how well to do academically, and when we fail in academics, the repercussions are horrible.
The disappointment from the family…the judgement from the teachers […]
HELLO:
ALL PEOPLE IN THIS WEBSITE THAT FEEL PAIN ON THEIR SOULS I WANT TELL YOU ALLÂ THAT I AM HERE FOR CARE ABOUT YOU ALL
I AM NOT PROFESIONAL BUT I REALLY CARE ABOUT PEOPLE I HATE SEE PEOPLE SAD I WISH GOD GIVE ME POWER FOR GIVE HAPPINESS TO THE PEOPLEÂ AND ALSO I AM LITTLE CRAZY LIKE GOAT. IF YOU ALL NEED A FRIENDÂ HERE I AMÂ MY NAME IS JULIETA
EMAIL ajulieta_77@hotmail.com             LOVE FOR YOU ALL
truthbetold is a jaded individual
urban dictionary says:
a) the end result of having a steady flow of negative experiences,disappointment, and unfulfillment fed into a person
where they get to the point where their anger circuits just sort of burn out and they accept disillusionment.
b) emotionally numb. having been through so much pain that you simply give up and decide unconciously not to feel anymore. mental suicide.
I also have dormant hatred for humanity, which is awaken when people do or say things that remind me how compassionate us humans can be ..
my friend depression tends to find its way inside my mind during the fall and usually leaves […]
So guys I know most the stuff posted on this site is depressing but I wanted to tell you about a friend of mine. He shot himself point blank in the forehead. Luckily people found him just a few minutes later and he was still alive. He was rushed to the hospital and put in ICU. Somehow either miraculously or whathaveyou he survived. No, he is not a vegetable either, actually now that inearly 6 months have passed, he is having conversations, standing up, solving difficult puzzles and going through physical and mental therapy. I hope to god […]
I have finally given up, I won’t eat or sleep, I just want to die. But I don’t want to kill myself because I don’t know where I’ll go and if it will be happier, so I’ll stay miserable in my own dark little corner and please anyone who comes my way…or needs someone to help, I think I can live knowing that I saved a life.
Please read.
If you ever decide to cut just remember.. Once you cut you get addicted. Your life will revolve around cutting.. In your life it will be all about cutting.. Will I cut today.? Will anyone become suspicious about the long sleeves today.? You may think you can keep it undercontrol but your wrong. It will become all you can think about. You will crave it during the day.. You will loose you ability to open up to people. You will think to yourself.. “I need to hide my cuts.. I need to hide my scars.. I need to cut again and hide them all […]
Society is a fucking useless term. We are not human, what kind of human is set out to make other people feel more in hell? There is already an empty pit inside, already that void… feeling of despair and emptiness.. So why the hell would anyone go into someones life… and try to ruin any salvation they have for hope? My mind is already hell enough, please stop adding things for it to over-process. I don’t need this, this is one reason I’m in the darkest places of my mind… Why would you try to take away the one little ember left, the one that may […]
I google the web trying to find something good that I can latch on to - something that tells me how I can escape the thoughts I have that life has no purpose. I find this site – register – the email comes thru…. thoughts become reality as I look at my in-box and the password is there…. confirmation: I’m messed up.
I am so tired – tired of life. I wish it over and the pain gone. eat, sleep, work, emptyness – the cycle of pain repeats. I want to hide – I avoid work, I avoid people and I regress further. How come I only have unfulfilled dreams and I’m stuck in […]
Im doing it…The voicemails Ive kept..Impossible to delete this texting app so I could save them. Im letting it go. Im deleting the app and redownloading it so they will all be gone. Ive thought about doing this for a long time, but Ive been afraid to have nothing left of his voice…to remember how much he didnt hate me.
A step in the right direction. Here I go..
once you give up and people know
it washes over you
it washes over everything
and you might as well not be there anymore
dust in the wind
the embers of a fire
a shadow
and as most of you know
who have asked people for help
and told people about your life
it’s lonely in the dark
Here’s to the days,
When you have to make your coffee extra strong,
Smoke an entire pack of cigarettes,
Burn twice as much weed.
But in the end. I’m still alive.
Still Alive….
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I just read a definition for suicide calling it a cry for help. It really annoyed me, because in my opinion it’s the exact opposite. Suicide happens when we feel there is no help to be given whatsoever, suicide is when we can’t help ourselves and can’t be helped by anyone else. Suicide is deciding that we’ve had enough of this fucking world and don’t want any help staying in it. The only way suicide could possibly be a cry for help would be if it was a purposely messy and obvious attempt, or if the person told a shitload of people their plans, or […]
Its not even funny anymore why am I getting into these difficult situations and being blamed for shit which i havnt done.
First thing that happened recently is my ‘best’ friend turned around one day and just told me to go away and to never talk to her again…. I was like ok? wth… so anyways a couple of days later i talked to her again and she starts that crap again telling me to fuck off.. by now I’m like what the fuck have I done… So I ask someone else and they say I apparently I was taking about my friend behind her back… […]
i’m sick of all of this if you try and tell anybody how you feel they’ll try and help you or get someone to help you, people say if you feel this way you should see someone but what help is that gonna do how will it help at all if they have never felt this way how can they help if they don’t know what it’s like to feel like this and if none of them have ever felt this way because if they did they wouldn’t want to help other people like this it would depress them or bring back old memories so […]
So… I’ve never been good at talking about my problems…. but here it goes..
For the past year I have had major depression problems… Which shouldn’t make sense, I have awesome friends, an okay family and an amazing boyfriend… Yet nothing seems right. Nothing fills the void.. Every day I wake up and ask why I didn’t pass in my sleep … I wish every night not to wake up. Lately I have also been extremely sick, from lung infection to ears, to having strep throat. I have no life left in me, there is no candle light burning… It went out a long time ago, […]
http://youtu.be/lnSgSe2GzDc
I have been unafraid of dying for quite some time now, many months in fact!
I now live a life of selfishness, indifference and meaninglessness all rolled into one. It is all pointless, and in this I seem to have found a way of staying alive. It will not last long though I think, but give it a try, if not for a bit.
Enjoy