New comer.

June 30th, 2012by nirvanatastic

I dont know what to write. I have no clue, Ive never done this before.

I have severe depression, and have for years. Because of this, I have done so much stupid stuff, pushed so many people away. I have nobody. And I mean nobody. Not my father, my mother passed away, my now ex boyfriend left me for my ‘bestfriend’, and every one of my friends have ditched me. I have nobody.

The school is aware of the suicidal thoughts, and they tried to help for a few weeks, but after I left the school to throw myself in front of a train and was caught, taken to hospital, and discharged because ‘I wasnt serious enough’. After this, they’re looking for an excuse to leave me alone, to fight it myself. I have nobody. All thats stopping me is Im figuring exact exactly how to do it. My Dad was a train driver you see, and more than once he was used as a weapon for some ones suicide. I couldnt do that to someone, and overdosing hasnt worked. I feel like a faluire. I cant even do that right.

I dunno what the rules are, Ive searched everywhere for the rules but cant find them. I dont know anything, or how this site works. I came here because I thought I would find a way to do it. Im planning on having it done before going back to school. I cant handle seeing them together.