Even dying seems impossible task
Complications they like to mask.
Methods just to hard to obtain
Or other ways that cause to much pain.
So many responiabiltys are reasons I should stay.
But the will of life they took away.
Life is hard but so is getting my end
How much longer do I have to pretend.
This life is not real it is like acting in a play
But this lie I live can not forever stay
June 2012
My family hates me, they always tell me they do. I hate how i remember it when i was little, how happy we all were. Now look, im scared to go home. I hate the people i should love. It drives me insane, how my own father can scream at me ” aww you going to cry, GOOD, now you can go f*ckin cut yourself!!!” I feel numb. From all this stress and pain. It makes me wanna die, makes me think they are better off without me. I know my mom is, she already left me here. My dad already wants to. I should […]
<3 I miss him and this song makes me think of him. I miss my love. He could bring me through anything, staying up all night with me when I couldn’t sleep no matter how tired he was or what he had to do the next day. I miss you to death Seth… <3
I don’t have any emotion. I am completely numb. I have nothing to say, nothing to do, nothing to think. My mind is a total blank. This is almost worse than feeling depressed. Cuz I rather feel pain then nothing at all! All I feel is a constant state of anguish, like a slight annoyed/frustrated feeling but it feels more like I’m just completely uncomfortable in my own skin and in this house. I literally have nothing to say besides the classic “I don’t know”. I am not suicidal but I do want to die and if I found out I was gonna die tomorrow […]
My grandparents are still trying to control my life from here. They told me before I came down here that I can see my dad in California if he pays for it. Now they say they will do anything they can to prevent it. Now the’ve found out I want to try to get a GED this summer and will do anything to keep me in school. Usually IÂ would let that put me down but strangely I’m more motivated than I’ve ever been. I just got out of middle school and I’m gonna try for my GED this summer. I want to show them up. […]
I really can’t take it anymore. I just can’t love my mother anymore and I feel horrible because of this. But every time I do feel some pity for her, it just gets worse. I just don’t know. I want to get away from here, away from my parents. Every time I see them I am nearly crying. I often thought about suicide, but I don’t really want to die, I am scared to die. Yet, I would do anything to get away from here, as far as possible.. Please, can’t anybody save me? Can’t anybody make me disappear?..
It’s a simple fact of life. Everyone avoids anything that causes them discomfort. And it’s understandable and human. But when I’m the source of that discomfort, it just doesn’t seem right. It hurts too much. I didn’t ask to feel this way.
cuz my parents almost break down into tears when they see a report bout deaths on the news and cause i can keep my sanity and calmness aparently im not empathetic and im heartless and uncaring. are my parents right? its stupid i do care im just not going to mourn about it. im so sick of my parents saying im a careless heartless unempathetic person.
This can’t go on for much longer! I gotta bring back the voices. I gotta bring back the madness. My only protection. Live or die, they’ll figure it out!
I’ve been glancing around — grasping blindly, I guess — looking for somewhere to vent, and it’s honestly made my sense of social distance worse. I suppose I shouldn’t say “worse,” since social distance isn’t necessarily a subjective feeling so much as an assessment of social place, but whatever.
It’s hard to feel connected to others going through depression and contemplating suicide, given what I’ve seen.
It’d be easier to explain where I am mentally. I’m tired. I’m tired of trying, and I’m tired of what I see. There are amazing wonders out there in the world and even hidden deep in people; I know […]
Hello, I need a sincere advice. I want to commit suicide and I have planned how to do it. I will take cyanide to end my life. However, I am not able to figure out should I commit suicide at home and leave my parents to find my body (I am from India and stay with my parents) or should I commit suicide in a hotel room and leave it to the hotel staff/police to find my body and inform my parents?
The thought of my parents finding me lifeless is very disturbing for me. At the same time I don’t want to give them […]
I come from a decent family and did not suffer a tramatic childhood. However it was not perfect. There was poverty. There was social services and cops. There was divorce and suicidal thoughts. What are we here for? To keep working, smile at eachother. If you don’t desire possessions then you don’t desire money. If you don’t care about money then you don’t care about a house,car,family ect. So why try? 40,60,80,100 years on this earth to make and work for what you leave behind? Why wait? I care too much about my family to make them look for my body. I care to much […]
That Silly word. . . . . ” die ” it runs through my mind almost every momment of my day. Sometimes I just sit there reapeating the word over and over again, paying no attention to whats going on around me. Sometimes i think of carving the word “die” into my wrist, just to remind myself what needs to happen. ” Die”, “Die you stuiped whore”, “Die you worthless piece of shit”, ” Die becuase it’s for the best for everybody”, or ” Die because nobody will care” Those sayings run through my mind aleast twice a day, but i don’t mind becuase. In […]
Well, the title explains it all. All is left is to fix a date to suicide. I can’t seem to find the courage because I have to leave my family behind. All I’m worried about is what if I survived? What if I’m there lying on the bed and looking at my parents looking at me with full of disappointment. I gotta make it successful. I can’t fail this time. This has to be done. I can’t wait to end the misery, but I just don’t know when. Now it does, because I’m gonna do it all alone, and nobody knows about it. I […]
my name is robert, and i am having difficulties with life at the moment, i guess you can say that i am not as depressing , i am very strong actually but even the toughest can fall down sometimes. i have a emotional attachemtn problem , my problem is that i fell in love and i don’t know how to let go. it started of as friends typical right? but it was so great , the greatest friends you could find ;were not that regular we like to do the same things we love only horror movies , we like earie things ,murder cases,stuff like […]
Still wanna kill myself over a person who could care less.im going to eliminate that pian in my chest by putting a bullet through it.god hasnt answered a single prayer in 3mon.as a mater of fact thing just keep getting worse. I cant wait to taste the kiss of death.ill be leaving us soon its just too much to bear anymore.goodby all.she is worth death.seeing her with another man is worth death.my sadness is worth death.im such a coward.and am so selfish because there are many who love me but the one i want to doesnt.and thats worth death
What’s the point of living if my family doesn’t except me for who I am if I’m bi I’m that font try to change me to who I’m not I mean I’m not perfect or anything I’m me I’m the funny one I’m the one who gets blamed for everything I’m the one who doesn’t tell on anyone for smoking weed Im that one girl who comes out of the closet and wants everyone to be fine with it and not for the opposite I just wanna die and be with the people that I loved that god took from me I wanna die and […]
I came out I was bi to my mom and it wasn’t the reaction I expected it to be. I expected it to be tears of joy but it was tears of madness and anger and I started to cry cause i didn’t know why she was getting mad of the situation I mean aren’t u gonna be happy for me i came out to u cause I trust you and now I have no choice but to think to kill myself I mean why hasn’t god taken me yet i mean it’s my time to go :/
People have told me. Just wait a few years and it’ll get better. I’m waiting…
Will I suddenly feel better as soon as I’m out of high school. Is that the big change. I’m sorry, but one year is long enough.Â
I waited a while, it hasn’t changed much, or I’m too focused on one thing to see it. I, instead, have been going through shitty times (yet I may have over-exaggerated a bit) and that hasn’t really motivated me to keep going.
Please I don’t wan to wait any longer. A part of me wants to end it, it’s probably when I’m most depressed. There’s another part that wants to wait it out.Â
The problem with having 2 or more perspectives/personalities […]