All my life all I have ever wanted to do was fit in and make friends but for some reason it just could never happen. I apparently scare people with my looks. I naturally look angry but anyone who talks to me more then 5 minutes knows that I am not angry. Lately I have been sad and angry. I got my 1st kiss a few days ago but it was nothing. There is a girl who is like my cousin but she is not (Uncle married her mom, they got divorced.) and I made a bet with her. I won the bet and she kissed me since that was what she had to do if I won. Honestly I didn’t think I was going to win my bet at first but I did so I was glad. The kiss I will admit was good and I liked it but it is nothing serious between us. I just made the bet out of the hope that I could get the kiss and finally get one. I feel that was my one chance to do it and I took it. I am not a ladies man and I have had only had 1 gf so at the point I was just like when will be the next time I get this shot to finally kiss a girl?
I don’t regret getting my 1st cognitive kiss like that. I got pleasure out of it and at least it gave me some confidence. Maybe I will be able to put a half real smile on my face.Me I am choosing just not to regret things I do. If I get mad and I do something bad I don’t regret. I have been hurt so many times by people that I think doing a few so called “bad” things is pretty even.