My whole life has been nothing but a sick joke, I’ve always been able to save face and truly belive things would get better but to no avail. I’m done being optimistic and hopeful. Everything has finally taken that from me – my one true hold to life. I’ve lost all my family, my friends don’t give a shit and the woman that I love is gone with the ring for her sitting in my sock drawer. I’ve thought about killing myself before and not done it or tried because I thought of it as a selfish act. Now I realize this whole world is based on selfish acts, so why can’t I be selfish myself? Everyone outside of my situations say I’m a strong person, I’ve endured and surrvived so much but what do they know? They are only there to save face but when it comes down to it no one gives a shit. In my most desperate times of need they aren’t there, even though I dedicated my life to everyone around me. I often wish while I’m driving that I’d get hit with a Mac truck out of no where, or think about taking a turn too sharply over a bridge but can’t bring myself to do it. I’m just done with all the bullshit that life has to offer. Good people get fucked in this world, there is no room for the rightous and the meek will not inheriet the Earth. EVERYTHING I have ever thought is a lie and now I’m here, sitting on my computer rambling my final thoughts on some random website. Look at that, I can’t even write a note because I don’t have anyone to address it to. A bunch of complete strangers will be the only ones to know the last things I ever though. Just another testimate to my shinning life I guess. I doubt that I actually will kill myself I’ve never been able to before but if I do, whoever is reading this, I thank you for taking however much time out of your life to read this. You are the only one(s) to even show me the slightest bit of care since I can remember. Again thank you.
-Remember it isn’t goodbye, but I’ll see you later.