Lost Forever

July 31st, 2012 by lostinhorrer

Okay so i have been through therapy and it made everything worse. I don’t know how to deal with all the voices inside my head telling me what i need to do i am a dyslexic fifteen year old I’m going to be a junior and i don’t want to even see tomorrow. This will be long but i have a lot of reasons i want to disappear.

One is my sister she always puts me down and makes me feel like i don’t belong in the world i wish i could tell here shes a stupid bitch and doesn’t deserve to even see me let alone talk to me.

I also get picked on for being dyslexic. So now i have to live with my sister and being retarded and dumbI go to my parents but they never understand i want to be okay again and they put me in therapy i don’t like therapy it doesn’t do anything but make me feel worse about myself i want to be okay and go threw the world happy

People always say that i have a perfect life well my dad has cancer and he pushes himself and my mom is never home. I have one best friend i always see but i also have one i never see he started the thing in my head i usto  think about y life and that was it now i think how he could die at any second and if he died i would in my heart a little too. I wish he would stop drinking and smoking and drive more safely but he wont listen to me. I wish i could make them stop talking about him in my head but i go from my sister to him to me to my dad and i don’t know what to listen to anymore. i have nightmares almost everynight because i dont know wat to do about them.

If i get help i will just be put on medication that i don’t need and i cant do that, i wish the voices in my head would go away and i don’t think they will there is no escape i don’t know what to do anymore. is there anyone who can give me advice on what to do and how to make them all stop running through my head I just want to explode and my head i cant concentrate!!!!

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5 Responses to “Lost Forever”

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  1. I have something kinda like that. I have memories that haunt me and never leave me alone. When I try to be happy, I remember the time I lost the girl that I love or something so it’s hard for mr to be happy. And I’m also a 15 year old dyslexic. If you ever need to talk, my email is devinbelver@yahoo.com

  2. Why are you so against medication? I know its not goin to fi everything but it could help atleast a little… I was the same completely against meds but my fam convinced me to try. It doesnt fix me, im still depressed, i still wanna die but it does help even me out. It help me not hit complete bottom all the time.

  3. Having the right therapist is all so important.
    Over the years I have talked with a lot of therapist. There are many I would not advise allowing to have any of your time or thought. But I have known a great number of people who swear having a good therapist allowed for a major improvement in their life. For me, most often it was just an initial
    conversation ending with my asking ‘do you think it is safe for me to be in society?’. Always heard yes. And, then I never talked with them again.

    I understand the antisocialing effects of dyslexia. Its not with me all the time; when reading, its a deterent, when speaking some people will dismiss me as a mental, thought there are some have enjoyed the turn of words, when hearing it occessionaly funny because some of the possible options are so absurd.

    I have resisted taking medication for years. I’m now reconsidering.

  4. Lostinhorrer, the fact that you are hearing voices ‘telling you what to do’ would be a big concern to me, and I do think you may need to accept some psychiatric help for that, whether it be therapy (with the right person) or meds, or both. Zx

  5. Alot of you are asking why im against medication and thats because i dont want to end up like my parents on 34 meds a day to keep me aliver or okay!

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