When i was little, i started to cut myself. mind you, im only 15 now. My counsler used to ask me if i could set a goal to live ..like live to christmas or my next birthday. and i did just that. I never knew it wasnt normal to think about suicide. i think about it maybe twice a week. My mom told me one time that i was a coward for wanting to kill myself, they think i just want attention, its not. i want relief. and its sad to say i think suicide is my only way out. I’ve tried before, i took […]
July 2012
id like to be needed ebough by someone that theyd take me far away and set up somewhere so i can get away from the pain, and start over as it were, and work to what i want. i think now that i have to work for what i want here for me to be able to find someone who would love/need me enough for that, theres some truth in the “if you dont love yourself, noone will” stuff
“Think of the people you’ll leave behind.” They’re the reason I’m committing suicide.
One of the  big reasons people don’t kill themselves is that they don’t want to hurt their friends & family. But when I think of them it just makes me want to pull the trigger even harder. All those two-faced liars and hypocrites need to see me dead with my brain in a million pieces; they need to wake up and see the real world… a place where cruelty has consequences, where lies can kill, and where some of us should be taken seriously when we say we need help. To all my friends and family who failed me, I do this for you.
i cant see the light in getting over this. y shouldnt i end it all?
Well, I guess finally I found some POSSIBILITIES of cool work that will look past my criminal record of 1 misdemeanor battery in 2001 with the event taking place in 02/2000 when I was 20 years old. I still woulnd’t call it a light at the end of the tunnel, but it’s current trying to get to the bulb!
I wish I could run away to something safe. This world is seeming so full of danger, so full of loss and I’m scared. My partner of many years keeps going back to the same behaviors that utterly utterly break my heart. He cannot see me at all, he just sees an enemy, someone trying to hurt him. I can’t imagine a worst torture for myself than this, and the way things have been. He snaps out of it sometimes and helps me build trust with him and I act in the ways he says he wants me to, but he still gets angry and […]
I might be clinically depressed or bipolar. I’ve been “sad” for 4 years now (if that means anything). I’ve taken classes in highschool and in my 2 and a half years of college and feel I might be, but that doesn’t change the way I feel. I do not want to be here. I want to leave and never come back. I want to go far away where no one knows me. When my own family found out I tried to kill myself, they made it worse. They cried and it only made me feel worse about myself. I tried letting someone in and talk […]
ok, so i tried to kill myself two days after my brothers birthday… now i feel really horrible about it… not the suicide part, just the timing….
Now I understand how you feel
You felt like you were dying
You felt like there wasn’t any hope left
When you see couples
All you wanted to do was cry
End your life
You felt left out
When you were with your friends
All you showed was your mask
But inside
You were being killed
Slowely
Painfully
Desiring your special person
Your love
… Your one and only
Maybe you’re future
Ok. So my step dad is taking my little twin sisters.. Just when we started becomming a real family again.. Jade os okay with it.. She wants to but Brianna is unsure. How is a child sopossed to choose between her mom and sister and he twin sister. God im so scared.. Everythings falling apart.. My mom is becomming depressed.. My depression is getting worse.. It doesnt help that my step dad is addicted to the computer.. He cant even cook himself a meal.. He is late for work EVERY SINGLE DAY. He wont be able to get up and get my sisters to school.. […]
That may never come true…
But…
I wish…
To spend one day together
Driving through the woods
With the music loud
And the windows rolled down
Taking awesome pictures
Ending by a relaxed time at the beach
Just wishing we had that special friendship
A bond
That will be strong
And a cherished memory
That will be remembered forever
Im not someone seeking attention, ide just like to know if anyone feels the way i do. i hate being alone, anyways i go to school like most teenegers im 14 and i have quite a few friends and am pretty easy to get along with. My closest 5 friends are pretty 2 faced, i get picked on alot and get yelled at for doing the stupidest things. i get blamed for everything and i never stand up formyself because im scared of judgement. Most of my so called friends turn there back on me or call me stupid names then expect me to apopgize […]
Hi. My name is Nemmy. Im 12. Soon to be 13 on August 14. Anyway, I’ve been wanting to commit suicide a lot lately. My my boyfriend and 3 friends have been stopping me. The one and only reason i want to die, is because im cyber bullied. A girl on facebook has been bullying me since i met her. Im dating her boyfriend. But, its not like we were bestfriends and i just took her boyfriend. I dont do that. Anyway, She has been calling me a lot of bad things. Im not going to name them. Sorry.. I want to commit suicide so […]
I killed my buttyrflies -.- I had forgotten how it feels to cut… God I missed it… Waited all summer to do it again. I’m sorry Jacob… I tried but I wanted it so bad. :3 I want more. -.-
they say fuck u
i say fuck them
they say go to hell
i say u go first
they say i have no guts to kill myself
i say watch me
they say i need them
i say look where i am with u
they say shut up
i say why dont u
they say we dont need u here
i say i dont need u either
they say they love me
i say thats FUCKING BS!
yes everything above has actually been parts of conversations i have with them, i honestly cant live with them no more. i need away from them…before its […]
So im new to this site, but i need somewhere to vent some thoughts and feelings ive had for years. First I guess ill intriduce myself. Im a rock/metal guitar player. I feel this title best illustrates who I am. Guitar and rock/metal music are my only passion in life, it is what drives me forward and has kept me going so far. I love it. Anyway, playing guitar in a band is all I want to do with my life. However, I feel like that dream is moving out of reach more and more as time passes by. Its my parents. They are supportive […]
Hi my name is Kim and I am 15. You’re probably going to think I’m just another overly dramatic high school girl. Im not I have been through more shit than people should have to go through by the time they are 15. My dad died when I was 11 but my suffering started earlier in life. My dad drank a lot and when he did he would physically abuse me but when I turned 9 he didn’t drink as often but I’m left with mental scarring and get scared if someone raises a hand near me. He got leukemia when I was 10 and […]
I found something were I express myself and it’s kinda a relief. I’ve never really wanted to start this journey, but I’m now researching to see what’s easiest for me and my family. I’ve looked up for insurance laws in Missouri, and I’m wanting to check to make sure that my children and mother will be alright. I’m done with trying to raise my children alone. It’s so hard to teach them the right way to live their lives. I pray that their fathers can do better,  if I’m gone. Please pray that my mother can start over and not be so dependent on me. […]
If I died tonight who would care?
I seem to have screwed up by wanting time to myself….
Anyways… I feel like shits all going down hill…. I just got a bill in the mail. A quick recap, I have had a credit company call me, my brother piss me off just by waking up and watching tv (not his fault, just odd reaction), I thought I lost a friend, and then when I needed alone time and came back, looks like the friend is now ignoring me…
And now I am being told im not being ignored…
I am just too fucking confused…
I hate this, today is the shittiest.
I just want to go grow […]