I know everyone has different reasons for arriving at this site, though we all share the same goal. My reasons are mental health related at their core, I guess, and the fallout from the symtoms…
Major Depressive Disorder, a chronic case of ADHD that I discovered myself 10 years ago in my mid 20’s, and anxiety which amplifies my reactions to people who are I guess just naturally reacting to my conditions… a vicious, never ending cycle that brings me here. Sadness, loneliness, pain & the anger that comes with being misunderstood & having no one to talk to.
Suicide is something I began flirting […]
July 2012
I really could just finish this now. All the bullshit from others, self loathing, anxiety and depression could be gone with just one slit. The knife is in my hand, no one is here to stop me, and even if they were, I doubt they would with how they feel about me now. I really want to do it and get it over with, but I just can’t seem to do it. God knows why, I mean it’s for the best, so why can’t I? Maybe somewhere inside I think it will get better, or maybe I am scared of failing that just like everything […]
I feel sick all the time. From drinking problem to cocaine to meth back to full-blown alcoholism, then it was pills and painkillers and benzodiazepines and now I’ve finally graduated to heroin addict. As l look down at my hands, swollen and shaky and an odd color of purplish-grey…. I don’t know how I got here. I’m only 22 and I need 12-13 hours of sleep per day and so much therapy and alllll my spare time spent in waiting rooms for drs offices and hospitals…. I’m so so sick and I wonder if life would just be easier if I was gone. I no […]
Going camping on the way to Virginia, unfortunately… Anyways, I’ll be gone a little over a week. I hope EVERYONE is still here when I come back. That includes you, Nobody915. Bye
That’s what everyone keeps telling me. Don’t worry **** it will get better it always does. For me i have never had an incident were something gets better. I am 18 years old this is my first post. I have never actually been happy. Until about almost a year ago i met this girl. She is the one. She understood me, she was my kinda girl. She loved me and i still love her. Over the summer i had to move to Alaska. I am still here posting this at 4:45 in the morning cause i have sleeping problems recently. I feel like this girls is […]
Since i was young all i wanted was someone to ‘get me’. Â It sounds so cliche but no one really understood my humor, my thoughts, feelings and reactions so i soon learnt how to hide them. Because it began to be draining, having to fight for every word you say. Trying to back up every opinion you gave. It was much easier to act like i had nothing to say. To be like everyone else.
Then i met him, I couldn’t be fake to him, i tried so hard. But i just couldn’t. For the first time since i was very young, i was acting like […]
I wish I could die tonite, just to close my eyes and sleep forever, no more pain…
I always wake up in the middle of the night feeling this huge hole in my hearth,
Trying to cope with everything that happened to me… thinking about what can I do but at the end to kill myself seems to be the only way out.
I want to sleep so badly! a new day is about  to start, what I’m going to do?? nothing, just stay at home. I wish I had a self destruction button, push and disappear.
ok, so ima say tonight NEVER happend. i LOVE my bf, too much, even if hehurts me..oh well. well 8 hrs ago i was asked out by the guy who denied asking to have sex me. well what the hell? at first i said no, then i wanted to see how much fun i can have for once so i got ready and walked down to his place, so we went to the movies and he is ULTRA flirty, i guess he still likes me. the whole time im thinking “dont fall, i have a bf, play it cool” well then we hung at his […]
How to start,while my hands are shaking and i finally made myself cry after a long time of trying to be strong and keep it all inside me. It sounds like another lame and pathetic story about how misunderstood someone can be. Honestly i had my moments of searching for attention but this time i just want revenge. I promise this will be my last selfish act towards everyone i know. I really wanted to make everything right again but when my own mother says that i am naive and stupid how am i supposed to feel about myself, how i am i supposed to […]
i recently found this website. i felt like writing something, cuz lately it’s so damn hard. i’m close to my limit.
i am nearly 25 yrs old. i deal with depression and anxiety since i can remember. 4 like 22yrs, i lived along with it not worring about it too much, i didn’t really know what i had anyway. since then it got worst. i’ve never been very social at all. i’m a shy person and very clumsy, or should i say fumbling? i dont know the right word to describe it in english… though i’ve always fought my personality. more than 3 yrs ago my […]
lets start here u see i lived in texas till a year ago im 19 now so i just graduated highschool when that happened. so we moved to arizona and my mom picked up drinkink now she has fallen more and more into alcoholism to the point where just this night she hit me in my messed up back with a pipe and then proceeded to call the cops now shes gonna wake up tomorrow im gonna show her the video i took and shes gonna do what she always does shes gonna deny it and walk out the door then she will come home […]
The monsters aren’t under your bed. They’re all in your head.
I know what it’s like to want to die. How it hurts to smile. How you try to fit in but you can’t. How you hurt yourself on the outside, to kill the things on the inside.
I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t know how to exist anymore. I’m so misunderstood. No one gets me. No one even seems to notice me. I’m just that shy girl who no one notices. I’m frustrated with myself. I started cutting again. Though, this time it was worse. I can’t cut deep enough. I just want to end all the pain. It’s like a bad dream, that only goes away when you’re asleep.
Every day I hope that something can happen to make this easier for me. On my way to work, can someone run a red light and hit my car, can I just not wake up, can something out of my control happen, to just get me out of here. I don’t want to be here, and I haven’t for about a year. All these people who die in accidents, who are murdered, who just DIE… and here I am. Nothing…
I’ve been cutting for almost 10 years… I’m 24 years old, with the same habits I had in high school… it was never a ‘I want […]
I am not perfect. I have many regrets. I have the scars to remind me of my mistakes. I knew a boy in middle school. He was 10 and had beautiful hair. When we were in high school he overdosed. Six months ago, I went to visit my family. I saw my uncle as I was getting ready to go swimming with cousins. He wanted to talk but I told him I had to go. I took a picture with him, went swimming, came back home. A week later he hung himself. 5 days ago my friend put a gun to her head and killed […]
Every day without him is a struggle i have to either cut till i feel relife or gett fucked up to feel like im with him i miss him why did he have to go so young and why do i have to be so young dealing with it i loved him and he loved me now wee will never see our future plans come out toghter i love you martin and one day i will be with you again
I’ve been feeling very strange lately.
For no obvious reason, my head hurts.
Well, not in a literal way like when I have a headache, but it still hurts.
I feel pressure inside my head.
It prevents me from thinking clearly.
I feel like there is a foreign object in my brain.
Anyone familiar with this feeling?
How do I get rid of it?
Well this is it the end of the line for me at only 15 year old and I can’t naturally smile or laff I’m now an alcoholic and a drug abuser messed up and I hear voices in my head so I am going to end it before I turn into a phsycho ***** and kill someone if I kill me then it won’t be a big deal I have no family or friends will anyone realise I’m dead I don’t know and don’t care I have got to the point where I don’t care if I live or die it will feel the same […]
I could disappear right now and no one even care to notice that I was gone. I can be surrounded by tons of people and still feel like I don’t belong anywhere. Everyone seems to so much better off without me. Death seems more inviting then life. I’m not good at expressing my feelings, so I keep everything bottled inside. Half of the time I want to tell someone what I’m feeling, but I’m scared they will think I’m insane so I just keep quiet. I feel like I’m just not here at all. If somehow I have disappeared into the world. Lost. There is […]
This place is a station and we are passing through deciding…What do we do next?
If you’re serious about ending it and mind can’t be changed, the station will be an outlet until you built the strength to jump onto the tracks. (commit suicide)
If you are hopeful you will stay in the station awaiting for someone to pull you back from the edge.
If you are inspired by another you might jump onto that next train ( to change yourself) instead of those tracks.
If you are hopeless and stubborn you will go nowhere and become stuck.
If you find nothing of interest at the station to help you in […]