July 18th, 2012
im so fucking over it! fuck being a teenager. fuck being treated like your worthless. fuck having no one that cares about you. fuck being lonely. fuck my life.
im gonna do it. im finally going to end all this bullshit. i cant sleep, eat or even concentrate. my daydreaming is getting worse, i cant tell reality anymore. my minds so fucking twisted, my body aches, i can no longer see the light at the end of the tunnel. im dead, i just dont know it yet.
i jigged school today. i came home and i was alone. i drank till i could barely stand up, and for the first time i took a blade and cut my wrist open. i just sat there and watched it bleed. it felt good. anything to take my mind away, as far away from reality as i can get.
no one loves me. no one cares about me. im so tired of this loneliness. i try so very hard, but i just get blocked out and put in the corner to drown in my misery. i hate my family. im the kid whos always treated unfairly, always being picked on. they dont know the damage they have caused, but they will once im gone, not that they care.
i dont know why im writing this, i guess the loneliness has got to me. no one understands… but it will be all over soon.
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