there’s no point in being here. i think dropping off the map for a while will help. talking to someone close about things that bother me, don’t seem to help. since i am reminded about how pointless everything is, and how worthless that makes me feel.
August 2012
So, first off I’ll admit I’ve thought about committing suicide and I can’t even begin to imagine how it feels when it’s your only option. My heart sincerely goes out to all of you in this situation, this is my little story from last year. I hope it helps anyone who feels as though no one cares.
I met her through an online friend. She lived in Western Australia, I knew she was troubled but she eventually let me in, she was my first lesbian crush and she gave me the confidence to come out to friends and family. We would text everyday and our feelings […]
I just really can’t be fucked with any of it. Like, everyone has reasons. Think about it, why do you go to work? to school? Because you have a reason to. All my life, i’ve believed there had to be a reason for depression. But I have no idea what is bringing this on. Sure, I have a few friends, I can laugh, I can play, whatever. I’m a decent worker. But still, everyday the thought gets stronger and stronger, why am I doing this? Â I mean really. I wake up, I get dressed, I have breakfast. But only because it has become something of […]
If done safely with the purpose of alleviating emotional pain, what’s the big fucking deal? Can somebody shed some light on why such a practice is so shunned and ridiculed in our society? Because as an alternative to suicide (no duh) or using drugs it seems like it would be the better tool.
I don’t know what is wrong with me.
I remember cutting and then I remember getting better. It’s been almost a year since I’ve cut my arms or legs. I feel like….I have too. It hurts to think about it, but it sounds so, so soothing.
I want help. I want my parents to know what I have been going through, how depressed I am, how I’ve been/am suicidal. I want them to know that I got my scar from a knife, not from falling down. I want to get better, be happier, I don’t want death to be an everyday thought. I want to enjoy life.
But at the same time, I don’t see how ‘professional help’ will actually help me. I would probably be prescribed anti-depressants. As much as I don’t like being depressed, I feel as though if I don’t have those emotions going through my mind I’ll feel empty. Kind of like […]
In my mind I am beautiful
but my eyes glance upon my reflection
and in my mind I am uglyÂ
ugly ugly ugly.
ugly.
Why can’t I be beautiful like you?
Or you?
Or you?
I just saw my aunt today. She has cancer. I wish I can do something just to make her health better. Unfortunately, I can’t . I hope she can fight it seamlessly. If I can have a wish that can be granted, I’ll have every person’s cancer, so they can enjoy their lives.
Question time, ask me a question.
If it was meant to be
It would have happened
He would have tried
He would have
Tried to visit no matter what
He would have been truthful
He would have never ignored me
He would have been a man
If he really loved me
Cared for me
Missed me
He would have risked for another chance
He would have never moved on…
It was never really love…
Was it…?
If it was love
Then he should tell me instead of running away
Right…?
That is the date I have tattooed on my leg along with the depiction of the galactic alignment of our planet,moon and center of the milky way. To me it is the finish line. After that I can proceed with my plans to relieve myself of this fuckin bullshit life. I have been going over exactly how to do this and which is the best for me (being a huge *****) for over two years now and I have honed it down to a rather easy self deliverance method that I hope will take me from this hell on […]
How strange it will seem when I’m gone. When you no longer see the light in my smile, nor feel my arms wrapped tight around you, nor my heartbeat against your chest, nor the taste of my lips, because I have to go away. It may not be today or tomorrow, but someday my hand, that was once outstretched and desperately looking for something to hold onto, will fall limp and slowly fade away into the darkness. I often wonder how long it will be before you notice that I am gone. How long until you feel the effect of my absence… if at all.
OH MY GOD. now i know why i love her. she is perfect in every way. there is no one else i could ever see myself spending the rest of my life with. beyond happy.
OMFG. why? i text/e-mail/call my bf…i get silence i get vague answers….to questions-_- my friends contact my bf, he doesnt shut up bout how he loves me so much…why cant he tell me that the way he tells my friends:/ he is tryna make them jelous somehow?? idk. by saturday if he doesnt answer somehow…haha 1 week of silence since he came back to me after two months we’ve had some pauses has he claims its my fault cuz i pissed him off. anyway haha the usual. soo homecoming???? my bf lives 1000 miles away, but ive found some good guys that ive been hanging […]
My life consist of mainly thoughts of suicide, drugs, boys, depression, anorexia and being bipolar. I can’t do it anymore. I just want it to go go away- either suicide or getting help. That’s basically all that’s left and I’m scared the decision is coming soon. How do I get help? Don’t say talk to a trusted adult because I don’t have one. Mabye I could find a clinic around me but I don’t know how or how I could get there. HELP ME
well my depression has gone on for awhile now. like since Ive been able to have a conscious so around 10 years old or something. I’m now 18(male) and in college. I’m skinny but still really fat and tall which just makes me look gross. i have stretch marks all over my body. Yes i do workout and lift aton. i am proactive about fixing my physical problems but those arent really my main problems. im not really that attractive. never really used my height for sports. basically just down right no self confidence. yes, i did come here to vent. and yes i am […]
Something is for sure wrong with me I am going crazy I need answers why do I still love him why do I want him back why can he not figure out if he wants to be with me or not or someone else why does he kiss me one day and then he’s not speaking with Me then he’s being nice to me! Why does he hug me close and sends me all these mixed messages clearly I am worthless. I am not good enough not even close
Well… That’s it then… I knew he would pick her. He knew it too. I’m just not worth it
I pretty much have been fighting with anxiety my whole life. Eventually, at the age of 16, my mind just shut down in the form of depression that would last for six years. What they don’t tell you though, amongst their protests of “It will get better, hang in there it will pass”, is that it doesn’t get any better. Depression was a black whole that stole my young adulthood. Back then I wanted nothing. Felt nothing. Cared about nothing. I wanted to die, but I never did anything to get there. Never did anything actually. It did pass though. However, I found myself in […]