Archive for September, 2012

incoherent thoughts somehow forming sentences

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

some may say that this is a selfish thought- I honestly don’t know- or maybe I just don’t care… I don’t think that i should have to hide these cuts, or even the scars. I shouldn’t have to lie about my depression, or be pressured to ‘fake it’ through everyday. I shouldn’t have to hide […]

Survived…

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

Well on the 27th i was on my way to school around 8:15am when i was hit by a bus…yes a BUS and i survived, at first it was no biggie thank god it was only turning a corner so it wasn’t going fast enough to kill me…i think? Anyways i got away with a […]

Good Night

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

So I’ll be going under the knife again for what could be the 10th time in my life now? The lithium they forced on me at the hospital 6 months ago ruined the last surgery I had done and since I will soon have to head back to New York to fulfill my miserable dead […]

no reason

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

knife normal people me a cutting tool a cutting tool same thing right…. nope for normal people the ending result is chopped food for me the ending result is becoming a circus attraction we people look at me this week the girl i loved started to fall for someone else…. then this girl i liked […]

Two roads

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

Two different roads One goes to my head another is attatched to my heart. A stomach screaming to be fed I am being ripped apart By eyes gazing in the mirror Shedding salt watered hate. a disorder covering fear Not dealing with my fate. The road to my head Is traveled all to well By […]

dying inside

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

im dying inside… everyday in the pain i face… but its not enough to kill me… i’ve tried but i can never do it and i scare myself so much trying to hold on to what i have… my problem isn’t that im not loved because i know i am… i couldn’t stand causing someone […]

I’m not a whore, treat me with respect.

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

This guy says that he’s liked me since high school, but all he ever wants to talk about is sex… nothing else, just sex and how he thinks he’s ugly. He talks to me like I’m a whore. I’m sorry but I require a lot more respect than that. We’re supposed to be “friends” but […]

I Can Never Satisfy

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

No matter how much I try with my parents, my teachers, my friends, it never adds up, I can never satisfy anyone. Nothing I do is ever right. Even if I do do something right it is still wrong! I’ve had numerous failed attempts against my life and just quit trying after that. But every […]

Give me a reason to live

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

-*- My clock is ticking already.  My mum’s abuse is finally too much.  It’s been too much, I’ve just been clinging to the hope that it’ll all go away. But it’s not. Hopefully by tomorrow I won’t be here to bug anyone with my sh*t anymore.  No one will have to deal with me. Not […]

december 3rd….

Sunday, September 30th, 2012

so i have a doctors appointment for my depression on December 3rd….. that date runs through my mind everyday like its my birthday or something.. i think th appointment is just so the doctor can refer me to another doctor which is gonna be really disappointing. i used to be able to get through some […]