September 30th, 2012by silent survivor
Well on the 27th i was on my way to school around 8:15am when i was hit by a bus…yes a BUS and i survived, at first it was no biggie thank god it was only turning a corner so it wasn’t going fast enough to kill me…i think? Anyways i got away with a minor head wound, bruising on my foot even though the bus ran over it alittle,no bones were broken and scrapes on my ear where the bus had it me. Everyone’s been telling me how lucky i am to even be alive or to be standing and stuff and at first i was kind of happy that i survived but now…days have passed and i am filled with a depression, i want to die and i should have but i want to and i am trying not to take this chance for granted but it’s hard when you keep on going back to that one place in your mind that just wants to be free. Thats another thing, i don’t want to die because i hate my life or because it sucks, i don’t know why i want to die, it’s compicated, how can you explain to a therapist that you want to die because you want to be free? That every morning when you wake up you feel like a bird with clipped wings stuck in a cage? Thats how i feel, and i just want to break free and the only way to do that apparently is to die.