He walked, rather swiftly, quiet as a mouse, across dark alleyways, through long, narrow tunnles, and past as few people as possible. As he walked, he kept a disguise in case he was discovered by the ones he hid from. These people he hid from wielded hidden knives and loved to sneak behind you and… Surprise!
He opened the front door to his house to find friends and family springing out of their hiding places in a frenzy, as if a lions pride were lunging at their prey to quickly subdue them. He stood there, wide-eyed, until the realization that many people would watch him intently to see if he breaks on his birthday. He merely adjusted his glasses and smiled at them…
As the night moved on, his anxiety was at a combat high, he wanted to bolt out the door as soon as he heard his own name being called. He wished he could wipe this day off the actual year so he never existed, but as a realist, knew that could never happen. As the door wore on, his mask crackin and his cheeks aching, but he knew he had to hold out. He was going to survive and nothing would go…
“… wrong? Did you hear anything I just said?” As he got back to the real world, since he was on auto-pilot, smiling and greeting friends, his mask must have slipped and his good friend Katie had seen him, knowing something was wrong. Katie was 12 at the time, same as he, but she was very smart and also compassionate.
He began to adjust his glasses and spoke,” nothing, just lost in thought over… The fact that all my friends are here.. and the presents.” He began to make his story up as he spoke. His mind, already overstressed, headaches causing a storm in his head, and that goddamn ringing in his ears. She looked at him smiling, saying,” oh, yeah, speaking of presents, I have yours here.” She handed a small gift wrapped present the size and shape of a notecard.
He opened it up to find two tickets to Six Flags, courtesy of Katie. He looked them over, front to back, at the lack of symmetry and wondered why there was two. “… like to go to the amusement park, tomorrow…” Looking at the cards, he hated amusement parks, because they weren’t thrilling to him. ‘… so do you think it’s a good idea?”
He didn’t listen to her as he had a lot on his mind, so he looked at her smiling, and spoke,” yeah of course!” She looked at him, eyes gleaming and mouth smiling, cheerfully speaking,” Okay, great, so tomorrow we’re going to Six Flags, together. I’m going to catch up with a few friends. Talk later…” He looked at her and realized he agreed to go to that anxiety filled park. Well, at least he didn’t stoop to the fiends level and stike with a jab to the back.
He went through the day on autopilot, and before he knew it, it was time for presents.. He hated this part of the day, with everyone concentrated in a huddle around him, watching with intent on all the things he got, and he just wanted to faint and wake up after the whole event. He looked at all the faces, grouped together into one unidentifiable mass of monsters, blocking the light and leaving only darkened smiles and fiendish expressions, as they cackled and watched his every move.
He fumbled with the presents, nervously trying to cut the tape with the blade as he fended off the stares. He was sweasting and fumbling with the blade, trying to cut open the present. As cool liquid moved across his face and hands, as he gripped the scissors tightly, he opened his first present. Looking around the fiends, watching their unblinking eyes, as he frantially tried to open the presents, their cackles stirred him, as the fiends dripped with envy in their saliva.
These blood thirsty creatures watched intently as their prey nervously moved, as they played with the scared mouse as they pawed at him. The pounced on him all morning, making fun of his weakness and knowing they could win. He opened the first present to reveal… A BB gun. He was ecstatic about the gift, mostly as a weapon to keep the fiends at bay.
He looked over the cardboard encased coffin for his precious weapon, then ripped it open to find a M9-esque pistol made of hard plastic, which even though wasn’t very durable, would keep the beasts back. He filled the BBs into the clip and pushed it in, loving the feel of a mag sliding into place and clicking. He pulled the hammer and aimed as everyone backed away. He set it down, though.
He got a playstation two from his parents, and some games from various conspiring fiends. and noticed a small sliver of silver from the corner of his eye but quickly dismissed it.
He spent the rest of the day looking at his new found firearm, and was fascinated by its sleek black exterior, but realized there were many clances at him from the fiends and they were possibly planning to attack soon. He knew it was probably his mind just tricking him, possibly a nervousness and anxiety induced paranoia , but his gut told another tale.
The day ended, as his anxiety hit through the roof, especially the physical contact and hugging. He wondered why they said goodbye if they would see him very soon? He was still paranoid, and dismissed the gut feeling again.
He entered the cold dark recesses of his room and attempted to cool down while his family said their goodbyes. He sat on the bed replaying all the past events as he removed the sweat and salt covered mask. He remembered avoiding breakfast to avoid contact with anyone at all, since his anxiety was eating at his brain faster than usual. Attempting to cool down, he couldn’t do it and the echoes of his past played through his mind…
He looked at the clock, realizing it was midnight. Removing his glasses and cleaning the tears from the glass, he recounted the past he had and let his mind wander as his eyes occupied the dark scenery. He looked around as his eyes adjusted to the light, seeing nothing, yet he knew he was never alone…
His mind wandering was a ritual he used to cope with his insanity, but also increased his paranoia and suicidal thoughts. He knew why people chose life over death. It was tolerance, ignorance, and worst of all, fear… Ignoring the massive amount of negativity in life would go a long way and tolerance was how long you last before you break. Fear is the wall that keeps you from jumping, because you never know whats on the other side.
His psyche was already incredibly messed up, especially after so many years since he took his first breath. All throughout the baby steps and leading to his dark ages, when he developed a mind of his own and common sense. The dark ages of his life caused him to grow another persona, the evil inside him called Rogue Shadow…
5 comments
you write really good
*applause*
Yay <3 love you guys
i wanna hear more!
yay I’ll try to get more done asap then 😛