Whenever I imagine ways to commit suicide, I cannot help but to imagine even more ways of something going wrong. When I imagine screwing up and placing myself in an even worse nightmare, such a terrible feeling wells up within me and I become afraid of attempting suicide. I feel so trapped because of this, and because I believe at some point in my life it really is going to be the humane thing for me to do, and I don’t think I can get anyone to do it for me. I feel like I want to convince a physician to please euthanize me, but I know they won’t do it.
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