“happy” new year

December 31st, 2012 by David

Well, it probably voids all rules of this site to say this. But tonight, i’m going to kill myself. I’m not here to get help as such.
I’m seventeen. And it’s new year. And I’m drunk.
Although i said i’m not here for help, i won’t stop anybody who tries, because i know full well you would even if i told you not too. Because bar a few pathetic trolls here and there, each and every one of you are amazing people.
I guess, this is being written so i can feel understood for a little while. I want to speak to someone who knows what it’s like to spend every waking second craving a final end to their problems, because then i won’t feel so alone.
Obviously, i’m scared. That’s probably something to do with it too. But there’s a shotgun, with two loaded barrels sitting there. Just waiting for me. And sooner or later i’ll go to it.
But enough of that. Like i said, i just want to talk to someone who thinks similarly to how i do. So maybe, i don’t die feeling so lonely.
I can barely see i’m so drunk, so forgive any typos if i make any.

But let’s start this smalltalk i’m craving off then. What’s your name? And, why are you here tonight.

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5 Responses to ““happy” new year”

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  1. David…

    You don’t want to die, because if you did you would have ended your life before writing this message. Now, that we have cleared that up, listen to me very carefully; no matter how bad life seems at this very moment, it will eventually get better. When?? I can’t say, but things don’t stay the same. Just so you will understand who I am, I want to share with you that I know a little bit about feeling low and at the end of my rope. I am 48 years old African American male and I have Sickle Cell Anemia. Now, if you are not familiar with this disease, it causes a great deal of physical pain–pain at times so bad you wish you were dead. Tonight, I got my car repossed; bad yes, life ending, no. Here is the thing, if we take every bad thing that happens in our lives and allow those to dictate our happiness; there would be a greater number of suicides in the world. So what do you do? You live to see tomorrow, because no matter how bad today seems, there is a chance that tomorrow will be better. One thing that I would always ask myself about people who commit suicide, is..how do they know that the very next second, hour or day would not be better than the last? They don’t have any way of knowing because they checked out early. So, I would suggest that you sober up, know that some one (me) here cares for you and cares what happens to you. Give tomorrow a chance, you may be pleasantly surprised. If you need to talk, I am just an email away. Much love to you.

  2. Hello David,

    Lonely is a state of mind. You can be lonely in a crowd of people. Who controls your mind? Ahhhh!!!

    I’m here to play
    Amakua

  3. Your life is valuable. Don’t do anything please. I beg of you.
    Instead of the shot gun, grab a pen or pencil, and some paper.
    Write down how you feel.
    I’ll always be here for you to talk to too.

  4. David, please comment to let me know that you are o.k.

    I need to know that you are still among the living.

    P.

  5. david,
    we have the same story, i understand how you feel..
    if ur still with us please talk to me.
    all my love,
    amy xx

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